continued from Thursday, 11 June.

That post finished saying I didn't know what the point of the post was.

I was thinking about this stuff yesterday as I made yet another comment on something I was seeing to people around me. I've taken recently to just announcing what I notice so that I can sort of be accountable to myself. It's also been great for showing me how OFTEN I think about these things, though. I think it surprizes my friends a bit but I hope it diminishes (the frequency/volume). I want to say that I do this to help me see the seriousness of it; to bring things to light so I can be ashamed of them and grasp the real gravity of sin. Part of me still enjoys declaring my thoughts but really the volume is doing me in. I hate that the same people are hearing me talk about this guy and that.
This exercise is also helping me discern between a "hmm, that's nice" and a BAZONGA! moment. Yes. It also is showing me to see more like a male than a female, based on who identifies with me more. Is this an important point? I think I said it as an excuse for the previous comment. I don't like that I think about this stuff so often so I thought that if I could push the blame over the line into MAN territory, it wouldn't be a reflection on me, it would be just the way men are. Wow... that is such twisted logic I don't think I understand it. Basically what I want to say after that confession is, "Don't think I'm sick! Men do it too!" Or really, "Men are worse!" proving to me in this very moment that my thinking has not even come close to fully shifting. :(

Onward and upward, I say. Just today I read this: Nevertheless, God's solid foundation stands firm, sealed with this inscription: "The Lord knows those who are his," and, "Everyone who confesses the name of the Lord must turn away from wickedness." Jesus says, Press on. I got your back.

[EST]