I don't write much these days and it bothers me.

I seem to put more care and passion into writing certain kinds of emails (usually vision-casting, or notes of encouragement) than anything else. I enjoy writing those emails for sure. I just don't see them fitting into the dream of earning a living from being a writer.

I jotted down this passage weeks ago thinking I would blog from it:

Meanwhile a large crowd of Jews found out that Jesus was there and came, not only because of him but also so see Lazarus, whom he had raised from the dead. So the chief priests made plans to kill Lazarus as well, for on account of him many of the Jews were going over to Jesus and believing in him. (John 12:9-11)

The excerpt made me wonder about people who have met the Lord having their lives so profoundly changed that others want to "come and see" them as well as Jesus. I know it has to be different from Lazarus because resuscitation is different from all other life changes. I also know it's different without the Lord being incarnate on earth.

But there can still be a fascination, can't there? I think I've experienced this myself, particularly with co-workers, particularly after they've seen me do something that the world finds big and perplexing--even foolish. They watch to see if you're really real. The watch to see how long this something (this façade?) will last. They watch to try to figure you out. Just recently, on Christmas Eve, I found an extended family member watching me through portions of the evening. As in, she was just staring until I happened to look over. Some of the times, I was addressing several people so looking at me made sense (though not the way she was doing it). Other times I wasn't the focus of any attention at all... I hope this is a start of something God is doing to build bridges between us. I want that so badly. I've had the privilege of giving a few big/perplexing blessings to her and her family over the past couple years, and I've tried to inch us past the small talk level of conversation but that's a little slow going.

I hope she sees that I'm different. I hope she keeps seeing it and that she reaches the point where she can't swallow back the questions any more. So, why are you like this?

That has to be one of my all-time favourite questions to be asked. Maybe it's second only to what do you believe?, what is the good news/the gospel?, or who do you think God is?.

So maybe a modern equivalent to what is recorded in the above passage from John 12 would be when our non-believing friends attend a church service with us and observe us and other believers as much as they observe or listen to the sermon.

I don't know what else to say except thanks be to the God who changes us so that we make Him and His message more attractive. What a miracle and honour if "on account of [us] many [people] were going over to Jesus and believing in him"!!