Alternate title: I thought I was having a good day.
It had mostly been a good day, from punctuality, to disciplined spending, to eating with balanced nutrition, to having a productive and pleasant day at my job. Then I had an enjoyable two-ish hours with my boyfriend while we ate dinner, donated blood, and then lounged in his room for a bit
Though it wasn't planned at all, I got to hold a 23-day-old baby (the younger brother of my best gal) for maybe 10 minutes (though it felt like an hour). He is so soft and snuggly and WONDERFUL. Absolutely wonderful. He's a sweet tiny baby and I love enjoying him. I think I like him even more for how much he reminds me of his sister. I miss her so.
About 30 minutes ago, my boyfriend told me in strong language how much and how completely he loved me and I shut down. I retreated from the conversation and told him as such. I just can't have it. I can't stomach bald affection from someone who seems to see and know me well. It's too hard.
My mood continued to dampen and deteriorate to the point where I was so sad that I felt like I would throw up. My face kept falling and falling.
I decided to come write, because I felt I could, but I checked my email first. There were new messages in there highlighting work responsibilities that I wasn't remembering or didn't know about. Sigh. How long this week will be.
On top of this, I'm too tired (surprise) but now that I'm in my room I see how many things I need to do before sleep...or need to cope with putting off again.
I don't mean to be complainful. But I am trying to start building my writing muscles and this is the fodder I have today. Perhaps I will finish with a photo of my best gal. Nothing can be too dismal with her around.
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♥♥♥
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