I'm back! :)

I'm back and I'm smiling. I'm back and I'm happy about that.

Oh, I had this blog post mostly mapped out dans ma tete, as I rode the Greyhound bus, starting with the title and an opening line, expecing it to flow from there...


I realized I was "back" in that moment when a friend of mine started talking about how the Catholic church was "appealing" and "sexy" and perhaps that it "made perfect sense." It fits neatly into one's life; going to church one day per week, saying the right prayers to the right saints, taking a little piece of bread - it's a party! And the way he said it I was like, you're describing it perfectly and I'm hearting what you're saying, shooting precisely through my heart. I watched him talk with my hand over my mouth, shaking my head slowly and involuntarily as he spoke. The longer he continued, the more disgusted I became and I thought, Hey...This is more like me. You know, nothing but the spirit could provoke such an intense, gutteral reaction in me.

I had an excellent Guelph-to-Toronto Greyhound ride today where I steeped in Galatians 1 and 2 which I think really helped prime me for the hangout times of the later afternoon and evening. It was weird... the guy next to me made some polite/general convo comment to me as SOON as I sat down and I was cool with that cuz he was nice enough but then I made some stupid comments, knowing other people in the very near vicinity were listening and I needed to take myself away from the outside world. If I had had a book with me it would have been perfect. I didn't have a book with me so I asked my friend for her pink-and-orange book, hoping she had the same Bible she did when I last saw her. (What a wuss I am! Unwilling to ask for the Bibs by its name...)

I dropped into Galatians and it was cool. I thought I was going to waft through all five (six?) chapters, feeling mildly good that I had at least touched the Bibs that day and getting a hint of a feeling that "I should do this more". But it wasn't like that. I was stopped in my tracks quite a few times (2 or 3, I guess) and that was good. I took the time to process, I read and re-read and when I had gleaned* all I thought I could from the text and tried to work out answers to my questions all by my lonesome, I posed a few to my travelmate. She gave me some decent insight but I still wasn't satisfied, likely for two reasons, (1) that I don't think I asked the question properly and (2) that I was more excited about asking than I was about getting an answer that I kinda compromised my reception in a way.

When I saw the other peeps we had dinner and coffee with (between 6 and 11 pm) my questions seemed like they wanted to be revisited, especially because this one particular friend I have not seen in a while (but he has not changed) and I was reminded of how he's a wellspring of Biblical knowledge (and passion!). So I thought to myself, HEY, I could ask him some questions about Galatians, more specifically Galatians 2:19 which had been my greatest hang-up of the passage. I ended up in a conversation with he and with another friend who offers great Biblical insight that I don't have and we had a nice conversation.

Something else made sense to me today. Well... I dunno. This friend of mine, he inspires me. He speaks about God, Christ, the Bible as if he simply cannot get enough of them. He helped me (today) to reaffirm the concept that, with God, the more we know of Him, the more we want to know Him. I remarked this to my other friend...you know, that this principle is pretty much the most crap set-up possibly for a human being. And it's something that makes people who really sink into it very honorable and blessed. I admire his dedication, or whatever you call it. It seems he's sure he needs to know more and is content to spend his life chasing hard after infinity. I told this one friend my theory about the other one and she enthusiastically agreed (agreed with the proposal, that is). I threw in, "I gotta figure out a way to ask him."

Moments pass, people change seats and I see an opening. I start with the classic. "Can I ask you a question?"
"Sure."
"Why do you believe?..."(I would have loved to leave it there because I was trying to avoid any parameters)"... in God?"
"That's an excellent question."
"In as few words as possible -- keep it concise."
"I can say it in three words." [Tapping a successive finger on the chair's arm with each syllable] "I can't not."
"Hmmmm," I mutter, nodding.
There was some elaboration, inspiration and contemplation then the partner question.
"Why do you pursue God?"
It was something like the same answer, that He's the only thing worth pursuing and that nothing else makes sense without Him. Also that everything that is good, (permissible, enjoyable) has value only BECAUSE of Him. Or only WHEN He's in it.
This still didn't give me the information I was hoping to get. So I asked instead, "When you think about your life or your pursuits, do you view everyday activities fitting in to that larger pursuit of God or do you find yourself constantly struggling to to not sit on a mountain top to be just you and a Bible?" He assured me that, no, he loves the everyday....

So what then shall I say? The point of the matter is that much of this conversation and other conversations with these two made me feel like my old self. I was passionate and eager to talk about Christ. I had realizations and moments of breathlessness, joy to be with other believers, and back-of-the-head plans to make sure I always had questions to ask.

The coolest thing I stripped from Galatians was from that 2:19 which says, "We died through the law to the law so that we may live unto God." Man, that stuff trips me out because I don't understand the concept of living or dying to something or someone. And the fact that us dying to the law was mentioned in TWO ways, one after another let me to believe each had a distinct, if not cumulative meaning. I was thinking that if we died through the law, it meant that the law found us guilty and we died because of that. And dying, to the law means we some how "fall away" from it. In death, we are separated from the law, almost freed from it. (I'm hesitant to use that verb unless God is the one doing the freeing.) So I asked my three aforementioned people: does this passage mean the law has been satisfied? To me that makes sense because the law can be satisfied by only one of two things, perfection or death. Either, you keep the law to the letter and it's been ...fulfilled, for lack of a better word, OR you break the law, and it is satisfied in your destruction. (You're no longer being considered by the law; being judged or having reason to be affiliated with it at all.) So here's the crazy part: Jesus, the Son of God, the King of Kings and Wonderful Counsellor...my Hero, He confronted the law with both perfection and death so the law imploded. It just couldn't deal. .. and I'm so proud of Him. Hahah way to do exactly what no one else could... exactly what's impossible. (I'm more than happy to reap the benefits, too and to brag about it.)



*Gleaning I have hitherto understood as being the process of taking all that you can from something. My mental image is something like an invasive combing; a passing through and extracting all beneficial pieces. But then I heard a more accurate description somewheres, that gleaning (I think originally pertaining to harvest) describes the process of picking up the leftover bits and pieces AFTER the main reaping has taken place. It's like scavenging and it's for the poor. Gleaning, in this case, smacks of humility. It's taking all that you can find - on your hands and knees, after everyone else has gone home - and using the crap bits that no one else wants to sustain you for another day. That's humility. Your most repulsive table scraps are my banquet.