It's good to write a blog post, though. It's something that I didn't think would make sense to me to write right now but a few things in the same vein have caught my attention recently and I wanted to catalog them.
I was inspired to do so by this quote I just read on someone's FB profile:
Bury your heart so deep in God that the guy who wants it has to seek God to find it.
I feel that is excellent, gorgeous, wonderful advice -- seriously. It is VERY much easier said than done but I know I do not want to settle for anything less.
(1) On Monday night I watched American Psycho (2000) and by way of introduction, we observe the main character's morning routine he gives a play-by-play voice-over, explaining each part of the almost obsessive ritual along with the reason and benefits for each. Artistically speaking, aesthetically speaking, dramatically speaking, I thought the segment was brilliant. I thought it was very well done, esp in terms of colors and blocking and editing.
BUT there were quite a few shots where the main character (as played by Christian Bale, who already gives me problems) was only wearing pants. (It makes sense when you're brushing your teeth or doing exercises, etc., all alone in yer own apartment.) Bale really had to bulk up for this film to make the character work so there's no way around seeing all the fruits of his labor. Then there was this one shot from behind, you see from like mid-back to mid-calf of Patrick on his way into the shower and I instinctively (instinctively?) looked away and said, "Woo... I don't know if I can handle this..."
I waited til it sounded like I could look again, all the while trying to decide whether I should turn the thing off or not. If it looked like that'd be an isolated incident then I'd press on. But, if this was the standard being set here...would I really have the conviction to stop a perfectly good ("perfectly good") film that I paid for and just go to bed? I didn't want to do that. It felt wussy and wasteful and weak. I like watching films. I like building my repertoire, I like cross-referencing, I like appreciating actors for diversity of roles so I just didn't want to give this up. I wonder, if it was more sexed, whether I would have. I certainly should have.
My words surprized myself, honestly. The word handle, in particular, is what got me. It was like saying, "I recognize my problem and I assess that this situation holds more temptation than I can bear." How loser of a thing to say is that?! Gosh. At the same time, I was slightly impressed with myself but the overall feeling is confusion.
(2) Earlier today my housemate came home and told me about the "hot guy" who was working on the house across the street. She thought I should go and take a look. I'm not sure if she wanted me to go upstairs and peep at that moment, or if I should just look when we were to leave the house shortly. Either way, my initial thought was: "There's no way I'm going OUT of my way to ogle some physically attractive man." It's one thing when I'm walking down the street, it's another when I rubberneck or make jokes, but to seek out, after I've been told, "This is what you should expect," is a different animal altogether.
This one wasn't even a "should I/shouldn't I" battle; I just didn't want to go. The idea repulsed me. I was pretty sure it'd be a pleasant sight but the thought of pursuing an object for lust or, at best, admiration, was just terrible.
I'm thankful.
I don't think I have a conclusion, either one for the post or one on the subject so I'll just leave this guy as is.
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