bullet points and newness

•The other day I made a short list of things to ask a few of my regulars, the ones that I have both a good rapport with and that I could come up with legit questions to ask. (By "legit" I mean sincere, appropriate and with good purpose.)

One of the questions on the list I neglected to ask because a good opp did not present itself and because it became clear I needed a different question. That's OK. He's a supplier I see twice a week so there's time to find something else.

Another of the questions was super easy to bring and the opp came as perfectly as hoped (another supplier I see each Thursday). We don't chat much cos we're both working though we do exchange some pleasant conversation. Last week, he was leaving after I'd paid him but I'd had to jump back on till RIGHT right away. He seemed to appreciate me remembering he prefers big bills, as he'd told me the week before.

"Thanks, Jesskah," he calls putting the money away, and he sounds like I've done more than my job - more than I do every week.

"No problem," I reply (because it isn't!).

"Have a good weekend." His psuedo-formulaic closing greeting.

"Yeah, you, too!" I throw back, still unable to make eye-contact for the long queue before me.

"See you next week," he adds with a tone he's never used before. The sentence should have been declarative (and off-hand, really), but at the very end there was the slightest elevation. He wanted to know if he would see me next week. I was so flattered. (I'm the lesser of two evils!)

I have consistently felt like I ignore him too much or use too many pleasantries, as if he's not worth my time. And honestly, I am more careful to be attentive and kind with him because my employers do not treat him well and I can see how much he dislikes it. I see with 90% of the suppliers the utter dread and displeasure at dealing with my two employers. I guess I'm trying to counterbalance them, or something.
Additionally, he is a sweetheart and always takes the time to greet me proplerly so...it's no real burden.


So, since last week I've had in the back of my mind that the way I treat him has made a positive impact. It means I now have an opportunity to show MORE kindness, because he will let me in. It potentially means the opportunity to engage more deeply and to gain his trust. First step - as it's been with a handful of others that I've made good connections with - is to treat him as if he has inherent value.

On my list? "Red Bull rep: name?"

After I signed the invoice and forked over a fifties-heavy wad of cash, I said (feeling like I was on the end of a diving board because this intovert had not pre-planned the construction of the question...but I love swimming), resolved to just ask, "I decided that it's terrible that we call you, 'the Red Bull guy'." I paused to see if my inquiry was well implied. He turned back from his pocket and said with his big smile, "It's P___."

"P___," I repeat, doing my best to stitch together a person I know with a name I've never given them. (You might be surprised by how tough that is. I've done it several times.)

"Yeah. It's only been eight months." Thinking he's just rightly called me out, I nod without words and wait for a pause where I can apologize. He continues, "To them I'll always be the Red Bull guy cos I just bring the Red Bull." I realize it's not my employment period of eight months that he's referring to, but his.

Even now I'm not sure if some of his frustration is aimed at me... I poorly explained that he is a person so I should know his name. It seemed he wasn't having the best day in the universe... I can't really read him. But if appropriate, I will apologize next week because I actually have no excuse.

He walks away saying, "Yep. Today I'm 'the Red Bull guy' but every other day I'm P___." Dang. I just twigged to what he meant. He means all his other retailers know him by name. :(

Well. If I need to, I will apologize next Thursday. And apology or no, I will be addressing him by name forevermore.