bullet points and wow

•Today one of my most regular regulars came in early in the morning (between 8 amd 9). He never checks his mood at the door and he's just unpredictable enough that I've learned to ALWAYS let him call the shots. Can be very hot-and-cold. But since I resolved to let go a few months ago, it's all been water off a duck's back. It's either retained as positive or discarded.

"Good morning!" I chime happily and wait, hands folded.

He's unfolding a yellow strip of paper and I'm moving toward the lottery terminal. He begins smirking and then smiling (he doesn't smile that much...pro with deadpan) as he says, "It would be great to see you have a big smile as you run this through and tell me I'm a winner."

I'm straightening out the sheet and checking for his John Hancock. I am also wincing and stifling laughter and he knows why. Couple weeks ago, when his ticket didn't win, he exclaimed, "F***in' nothing??!" in a perfect you-must-be-kidding tone (like the one for a parking ticket you might have escaped being thirty seconds quicker). I burst out laughing because he was so earnestly disappointed and almost disgusted. And I have a weakness for well-timed F-bombs. At my laughter the trace of anger building in him (he can be a very angry -SILENT angry - guy) was diffused and he smirked in amusement that only made me laugh more.

I reminded him there were no guarantees and he explained how he had expected to at LEAST win a free play, what with all the birthday tickets. (Just figured fate would smile for his special day.) He walked away still a bit annoyed but less upset than I think he would have been had I not prompted him to laugh at himself.

The next week when he brought me a ticket I didn't say anything as I ran it through but when it came up empty, unfortunately I giggled. He asked what was so funny and I reminded him of last time and how he swore and how funny it was... It registers and that same self-amused smile appears. "I was just teasing you," he says, clearly enjoying that I still think he's funny a week later.

Today he needed no reminding. He preempted me smirkfully because now it's a running joke. I was afraid to present him with a losing ticket because I am often shot, as the messenger. With the birthday ticket, he kinda stared at me like I was playing a mean joke. Without real fear - I was basically acting - I winced and cowered away from his impending wrath (which he found VERY funny).

When the terminal emitted its familiar "no prize" refrain, I didn't even make eye-contact as I said, "Oh," unsuccessfully suppressing my ridiculous grin. It's downright funny, this "can't catch a break" bit.

I apologized (for whatever reason) and he says lightly, "It's OK - I still love you, Jesskah."

I can't make my face pretend I wasn't surprised...but I do express mock relief with something like, "Oh, good," even though he's at Tims now. "Unconditionally?" I ask, to show I got his point.

"Yeah," he nods, narry a WISP of a smile left (his normal disposition). "That's the only kind of love there is," he adds philosophically like this is the first time he's worked it out. I agree with a nod and simple words. (Again- I don't do cross-room conversation. If he was still at my counter I would have added something useful.) "If it has conditions, it's not love." Who is this guy??, I'm asking myself. Does he know the Author of unconditional love? This is all very interesting.