I finished a book today. I'm happy about that. I've been alive for a long time. It bothers me that the overused, watered-down words of my culture have crept back into my vocabulary, despite what I thought were rigorous boycotts of the past year or two. Poop. I'm going to go on strike again. I don't remember the last time I finished a book, including the ones for school. ... Well, I finished the Book of Acts, Ephesians, Galatians and Colossians oh and Genesis this year but I don't quite count those "books" as books. I mean they're books in an anthology but reading the Bible is not about reading. Not most days, anyways.
Ever wanna smack a friend for being childish... while they're accusing another friend of the same? Weird sitch. I do like God, I do. But I wonder sometimes how I can be so far apart from myself in some moments/6-week periods.
I was watching Dr Phil today and his wife, Robin, was talking to a woman about her marriage, a lil' heart-to-heart of the woman-y kind. [I'm fascinated by how readily we - the general WE - accept each other's neologisms without batting an eyelid. I can't tell you how much this titillates me. Hahaha... I should write a thesis.] Anyways, Mrs. McGraw tells this other woman that we all have a personal truth (and at this point I'm of course thinkinga bout how I know she and the husband are Jesus lovers and "personal Truth" could be spun into something Biblical for themselves while it means whatever else to the woman she was talking to. [<--This is where a professor would write "awk" in the margins of my paper.]) She said that the personal truth was what defined how you saw yourself. I think her words were slightly different but that's the gist. Um...I got to thinking (I had flashback of all the major identity in Christ conversations I've had in the past two years) that my personal Truth, my personal Savior, my Life, Truth and Way is (or in this case SHOULD BE) the what/who defines how I see myself. Wow... without.... without someone like Him, I am a sorry sight. (Oh - I'd be a sorry site, too. Not a cite, though. I wish. Well maybe...) How devastating it is to forget who we are. Or, as many pastors like to point out, whose we are. I belong
It struck me the other day, as I was reading some early Old Testament, and writing something down about it, that I was talking TO the author of the book I was reading. I mean I tend to fluxuate between referring to God in the second or third person and I usually don't think much of it because it's appropriate, strangely enough. It's like... it's like He's hanging on my every word ANY ways so it doesn't matter whether I turn and make eye-contact or gaze at the page or stare into the fireplace. Some days, I refer to Him ONLY in the third person and that is usually a symptom of a distance betwixt us that I should address and let Him shrink. But this day, hangin out in chapters 4, 5, 6 of Exodus (what a delicious book!), I knew what I wanted to write but a took a moment to decide whether I would say "Him" or "You" and when I decided on the latter I had a mini-revelation moment that said, HECK yes, I have GOT connections. I mean.. it's a little ridiculous. I don't see God for all of what He is for many reasons, one that my eyes aren't big enough, two, that my mind isn't big enough, three, that my imagination isn't big enough, perhaps four is my small trust of Him, five is my selflessness... there's more... I can't see all of Him because He IS that great.. but also because I get distracted. From time to time, any Bible-believeing "little Jesus" will say, "Can you imagine? The God of the Universe -- inside me!" or, "-hears me!" or whatever it is. Most of the time I internally scoff at these people: CHEESE! It's easy to say, seriously. But I had my own moment like that once a while back.. 2004? and since then I've realized, OK, we all get it sometimes. I bet that if you say it all the time you're a LIAR but whatever. That's..... something else. (I could have used "neither here nor there" to finish that sentence! but I didn'st! boo) I mean.. it's cool. I was reading about the God who heard the cries of the Israelites ..whose anger burned against Moses for questioning God's judgement... I get to talk to Him like an old friend. I guess... I'm... honored (?). Can I be that?



Martin, Steve. The Pleasure of My Company: a novella. New York: 40 Share Productions, Inc., 2003.
PS 3563 .A7293P57.2003 PORTER

Q. What happens when you have too much cake batter for the size of your pan?

A.

300th post! It's not special but it's here!

I have recently decided that CSI: Miami is a good show. Or rather that I enjoy it. (If CSI-the-regular didn't have such an annoying lead character I'd like it more. As for CSI: New York, I haven't seen it more than twice or thrice but I do like Gary Sinese and the fact that the other actors have such ridiculously strong New York accents.)
I've actually watched more of CSI or other crimey investigationy thingers than I really think about but it's true. I used to hang out with people who loved the show and one thing I would have picked up then and am reminded of at least once every episode these days is that these people seem so callous. I mean.. I understand maintaining a professional distance and all (like lawyers, doctors, psychiatrists etc. do/must do) but sometimes these people just seem mean. They make jokes, right at the scene of a crime (mostly dumb puns...) and I have to think, "Why you aint can't be more sensitive??" And then there was this moment, remarkable because it was triggered by nothing, where I realized that these people wouldn't be doing this job if they didn't care about people. I mean if it wasn't important to you that some semblance of justice and closure would be achieved then you wouldn't be in this line of work. ... It would hardly exist.

[Editor's note: 300 (-5) 27/11/07:)]

well now I'm excited for serious

OK so I couldn't figure out how to take a photograph that wouldn't be blurry.
I'm really excited to see Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End. So, when the stupid Visa people refused to play nice to me after too many tries I decided I would go to the actual theatre to purchase the tickets. This was yesterday. I could have waited until today when the buses would be running but I didn't. I mean, I needed to get out of the house and I was extremely paranoid about this show being sold out. For many months I have been declaring, mostly to myself but needing witnesses that I was going to be first in line for the third Carrots movie just because. I don't think I've ever seen a film on its release date and I was very excited about this one. I love it when audiences respond to the drama (that's real theatre, man!). So... I walked and bought the tickets. It was mostly fun. I should have chosen different shoes. I really enjoyed that frozen-fruity-stuff-on-a-stick thing (made by Breyers) that I bought on the way back and I was blessed to have been right with God that day.
I won't be first in line but I will be watching the first available show.... and I'm happy.

well, I'm pretty excited...

My cousin Tori (born Victoria), second daughter of my grandparents fourth son, is turning eighteen tomorrow. (OK now think about why tomorrow is special if you live in Canada... think of the long weekend and fireworks... think about it...)

the fun day I had

Hanging out with the housemates, of present and past, brought me very happy times today.

Highlight #1: This guy.

He was part of a creepy, tacky wall hanging that had three people walking down the beach. It was made of several different kinds of fabric and such. I like to describe it as what would happen if Value Villiage threw up. This guy had pants with a working zipper which on a very micro level is cool.

As you may or may not have already discerned we had a good many laughs about this, of course making raunchy/scary jokes in between.

Highlight #2: the crystal chior.

The more entertaining portion of the evening (how on earth could it get better, eh?) for me was when I discovered how easy it was to elicit sound from crystal glasses. My friend hit one of the glasses on another somehow while taking it out of the dishrack and the base snapped off, crashing and exploding on the floor. As we were cleaning and la-la-la, my friends reached the consensus that it was crystal, simply because of the way it shattered. (I'd have never known this.... I was impressed.) I said, "If it's crystal then it'll make a sound," or something similarly, out-of-my-way/blurty like that. It worked. OHHHhh did it work. Man, they had twelve glasses and after about 10 minutes of trial and error with water-level adjustments, I had set up a major scale with an extra flat-seven added afterward because I figured the simplest song to play first would be "Happy Birthday".

Man, it made my life so happy to be able to run my fingers around a [perfect] circle and hear such a pure, penetrating pitch. (Do you know how deliciously clear these things sound? Wow.. I've seen bits&snippits of people who play like entire chiors of these things; intricate songs. I don't have the means - and probably not the dedication to do that - but I just loved it. I just loved it.) If I hadn't felt like I was being annoying (my friends' interest died after about 20 minutes but that's cool) and if it were possible to play without holding the base down (enabling polyphony) then I would have gone on forever. Somehow - you know, despite those two reasons - I managed to stop. I'm surprized. GLorious day.

Romans 4:12

"And he [Abraham] is also the father of the circumcised who not only are circumcised but who also walk in the footsteps of the faith that our father Abraham had before he was circumcised."

With its context (4:1-11 is good but starting at 3:21 or 3:9 helps) this is what makes me understand the Catholic-Christian. I mean, this is where God permits religiousness. This is how you can be devoted (devout?) to (in?) ritual and traditional ways but still indeed be the on-fire, deeply-in-love-with-Christ follower at the same time. They're compatible -- who knew?

I'm not TRYING to be a hypocrite

I'm not saying that racial jokes aren't funny. Nor am I saying that I have not made my fair share of them. I will say that some do cross the line (as any brand of joke can). I'm not trying to be hypersensitive or inconsistent or a stick-in-the-mud or an activist.

All I'm saying is that the reason I have grown a decent-sized hatred for these kind of comments is that I seem to be the only one who gets the brunt of them. What's up with that? I just want you to walk a mile in my shoes.

If you could understand how many of my friends make fun of me (and only me) for being black you might understand why I don't like this kind of ribbing. If I were to make a racial joke, most of the time it would be about black people so... why can't you joke about your own kind? Why can't I tell you how belittled and angry I feel when this happens without being scoffed at and called a hypocrite? I'm not trying to be a hypocrite! I'm not. Just walk a mile.. imagine how every snide remark, even when you're being serious, has to do with your race.... What do you see me as? An easy target? Just think about it and go hang out in a place where you're the visible minority.

things that piss me off (3)

#4 The idea that prison violence is OK.

They're convicted felons - they deserve it!
It's better that they do it to eachother than to innocent people on the ouside.

Tell me something: what's the difference between vaginally raping a woman you stalk on her way home and sodomizing your cellmate? Since when do we determine crime by who the victim is? Isn't it entirely hypocritical to put someone in prison for some illegal/immoral activity but to turn a blind eye when they endure the same? Don't feed me the taste-of-their-own-medicine line. No, I don't think they "should know what it's like." Now you're saying that crime depends on context. It's bad when someone "innocent" and "defenseless" is being attacked but if it's someone who has knocked over a liquor store then they can probably handle some minor (or major, whatever) anal tearing. Who is "innocent" anyways?

I don't think it makes sense to use a criminal offense as a punishment for criminals. If the criminality of an act changes based on context then that totally undermines the idea of a moral standard that our justice system should be founded on. [Incase you were thinking it, killing is different from murder.] If x is wrong - and we must be dealing with moral absolutes for the law to work, right? - then x is always wrong, unconditionally.

Let's not even talk about the killings and beatings.

Thespians! I ask,

Are we acting like our subject or acting like other actors have in the past?

Some of the more difficult roles, I think, must be recycled and, in a dictionary-definition sense, symbolic. "Difficult" and... obscure. With nothing to draw from personally, it makes sense somehow to draw from what you've seen others do. Sure, you don't get those draws and sure you can probably pull it off but at the end of the day, you're making a photocopy of a photocopy and you can take that analogy to the bank.

One thing I like about Lydia:

(Her mentality toward photographizzly inspires me.)

Nine more things I like about Lydia Low:

9. She has superhero initials.
8. She only laughs when she finds something seriously funny but even then her laugh ends up sounding unsure.
7. She lives on Bay Street.
6. She don' take no crap frum noboddy.
5. She sings on-key and has a good musical memory.
4. She gets excited when she finds out someone else's hidden talent or common interest or general cool factor, tells them about it and often pursues them in an explicit way saying, "I decided we should be friends." (Oh how gracious of you to grant such an honor!)
3. She usually doesn't understand my jokes.
2. She is not fazed by the same things I am (AT ALL).
1. Her bedroom is lovelyly huge and she stays up late talking to me while I sit at the foot her bed.
0. She appreciates canteloupe for all its ripe & sweet glory.
-1. She tells stories well without ever even meaning to.
-2. She doesn't choose to be blunt but instead somehow ends up speaking the truth in an unobstructed way, the intensity of which is generally unbeknownst to herself - and then surprizing/foreign when she finds out. (I secretly half laugh at that last part: it's like telling a sleep-walker what they did last night.)
-3. She takes God-following seriously and doesn't consider His existence or our allegience any kind of option.
-4. Her fashion sense.
-5. She drops f-bombs when no one is looking.
-6. Her tendencies in vocal harmonization are different than mine which means I get to learn from her and to hear something refreshing. yum!

I wrote too many things..... Lydia, will you never again complain that I don't love you?

the series:
Silas: http://jesfffskah.blogspot.com/2006/09/draw-er-of-smirks.html
Katie: http://jesfffskah.blogspot.com/2006/10/having-crushes-on-multiple-young-lads.html
J-Rob: http://jesfffskah.blogspot.com/2007/01/title-less.html
Paul: http://jesfffskah.blogspot.com/2008/04/10th-paul-post.html

Tom Selleck belongs in the 1800s.

"Is a hippopotamus a hippopotamus or a really cool opotamus?"

"Dr Scholl's... I don't think you need to go to medical school to figure out that walking on a cushion is more comfortable than not. Heck, I woulda bought those things from Mr Scholl's."

"I like to take a toothpick, throw it in the forest and say, 'You're home!'"
--Mitch Hedberg

"I think life is hard enough without tempting fate on the weekends."
--Mike MacDonald

"I never fail. I succeed at finding what doesn't work."
--Christopher Titus

"It's good to be in Montreal... I came here all the way from New York. [beat] I took the car. [pause] Now, I’m not positive about this but I believe I was racially profiled. I was coming from upstate New York and I was pulled over. [beat] Twelve times.
"The cop asked me, 'You know why I pulled you over?' Because I was speeding? 'No! Hahaha… because you’re black! Hahaha--don’t you read the papers?'
"Then he gave me a ticket for not wearing a seatbelt. [beat] Well screw that, I don’t know anybody who wears a seatbelt in the back of a cab.
"That’s a joke people, alright? That’s a joke. I live in New York. [beat] I can’t catch a cab…"
--Louis Ramey

"Hot Fuzz"

directed by Edgar Wright
starring Simon Pegg and Nick Frost
released in Canada on 20 April 2007

I have never met a film that was so grossly sold short by its television advertisements. Seriously! Don't pay attention to them: they'll only sell you a typical, Hollywood, predictable, cheap-laughs, brain-dead, slapstick humor idea. (Yes, I saw it anyways, under these assumptions. I was convinced to go by my brother who has seen "Shaun of the Dead" and figured that could vouch for the merit of this film. I assumed it couldn't be totally horrible. I was wrong.) I loved it; I really loved it. I'm sad, though, that many viewers will miss out on this greatness because they're expecting a stupid cop movie about partners who don't get along at first (one is suave, uber-professional and serious, the other is sloppy, goofy and trying to get his partner to loosen up..) but by the end are good friends, save the day (probably by accident) and are offered promotions despite all the chaos & damage they create and the huge mistakes they make that should have gotten them fired. Hmmpoop. I don't want to say all of what it's about because I think what can make a movie experience so much better is having little (or low) expections. That way, you can be suprized and impressed so much more. I was totally following along with the plot like my life depended on it... like a five-second imagination excursion would totally ruin the whole thing. (Every facial expression, every line, every space between lines; body language, subtext, cinematic tricks, those other visual things that make you wonder is key. It's all in there for a reason; it all builds to one end. I generally feel this way about any piece of art but some of them simply captivate me so completely that I can barely deal.) It was almost like "Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring" for me (and even parts 2 and 3, too). I seriously sat on the edge of my seat because I had been so effectively drawn in to that fantasy world. This film was almost the same - it wasn't so fantastic, of course, but my senses were being overloaded by new and constantly incoming fascinating things. O how I enjoyed it.

weird

Hilary just said that every square-foot of rainforest that is cut down brings us one step closer to global warming. That's Hilary Banks of The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air on its pilot episode, 10 September 1990.

That's way too weird for me. WAaaaAy too weird.

Tommy Tiernan on Just for Laughs

This guy did a whole (7-8 minute?) set completely on the topic of Jesus and the Bible. Here's what's amazing about it: there was no blaspheme, there was no hostility, no secret this-is-junk jabs that so many professors will slip in because they can, it was ALL hilarious and accurate and mostly riveting... and at the end, I kid you not, out of the whole show he was the only one who got a standing ovation. (Tim Allen came out after him and got a comparatively very weak response and certainly no staning Os when he left. It WAS a tough act to follow!)

Wow... part way through I started to notice that he meant no malice and even when he said, "Some of the things Jesus said made no sense..." he wasn't trying to tear down some theological pillars, he was just making light. "'Love others as you love yourselves'? [staggered laughs]..... What if I've got a really bad self esteem problem?" I think he really gets it. I think he's a for serious believer and I LOVE to see this what I might call a fresh approach. I would assume that if you were a Jesus follower and wanted to get into stand-up that your jokes would be pretty weak because honestly, audiences want to hear the most vulgar - yet creative! - messed-up stuff you can come up with. Serious. How do you think dead baby jokes actually came to be? Nothing shocks us anymore! Well.. that's another story for another day. This guy's set wasn't lame. He didn't need to declare himself as more than a religious church-attender, something you'd likely infer but certainly not hold against him, but he didn't need to take cheap shots at Big G to win their approval, either. It was cool. Come to think of it, you've got some prime material there, considering how familiar most people in Canada (and yes, even Quebec, mostly) are with church, Bible stuff, the nativity & Easter stories, etc. etc. and comedy needs reference points. It's like... good comedy is all inside jokes and, the bigger the inside, the more laughs you'll extract. Made sense to me...

The guy comes out onto stage saying that people complain how "commercial" Christmas has become these days. He exaggerates it (this guy one of those mics that comes up the back of your ear and its little bud extends off your cheek, sitting an inch away from your mouth - I don't know the right term for it - so he could gallivant about the stage unfettered: it was intense), yelling, waving about, etc. etc. and the audience is laughing along because of his bizarreness. Then he disagrees: "Christmas has always been commercial! Even at the very first Christmas. The three wise men burst into the stable [he mimicks running, stopping short and then thrusting his hands forward], 'Look what I got you!!' [laughter] I know it's your birthday and Christmas but I think you'll like it..."

man that guy was good
I approve