characterizing

God, thank You for who I am.

I want to try to describe the place I am in at present because I find it quite fascinating. This evening, I sat down for some quiet time with God after a few days' abstinence from it. I have been putting off intimate time with God in favor of school work. Of course I know this is a bad idea as I do it but usually that knowledge convicts me. Here is what was different this time: I felt (being in a place now where I am still riding the run-off from summer project) that I had some kind of God-closeness on reserve. The truth is that I could pass one day where I do not spend quiet time with God and be "OK." By that I mean I would not feel separated from God, and He would know my (good) reason(s) to have foregone the time. After two days, however, it is no longer venial. My point is that the reserve theory is actually valid but that this time - these recent days/weeks - I have not had my reserve adequately full to not have QT for 5 days or so. It is like our body using food ingested for immediate energy or storing it for long-term purposes as fat. If you fast for a week, your body will survive by using its long-term stored energy. However, if you are without food for several months, your body will have nothing to live on. Further, if you stop a fast and then miss one day of healthy eating soon thereafter, it will be far more devastating then - in your compromised state - to draw on empty reserves than when you are in the middle of a proper-eating streak.

I finally buckled down (it helped that it was Friday and I didn't feel anything else could be "more pressing" and that I wanted to be with You when I walked into CCC's weekly meeting) this afternoon and read a portion of Acts 3.

This evening, eight CCC members, students, went to The Manor (Guelph's strip club) to pray and I found myself understanding better the verses of Acts 3 I had focussed on. In verses 15 and 16 (12-14 for context), the Bible says that people from Jerusalem and places surrounding Jerusalem brought out their sick either directly to the Apostles to be healed or at least to lay in the street and hopefully be passed by Peter's shadow to be healed. This made me realize that a) people are desperate (a shadow?!?) and b) they will bring out their ailments if they know the cure is available. I asked myself: am I making the cure available? Do people know that there is a person who performs perfect, miraculous healing free of charge and we are His ambassadors? I need this to be broadcast from my life. I thought at the Manor that, yes, there are people here who would bring out their sick if they truly knew what Jesus was all about and where to find him.

At the weekly meeting this evening Beth Fisher spoke to us about glorifying God and mentioned that we need to have Him on display; we need our lives to show that we treasure Him. Telling the world that we are unashamed of Him and have no desires beyond Him definitely brings Him glory. Bexth spoke well, I want to peruse her notes.

The men of the Bible, of the New Testament, of Acts, they were so bold because they held on to the truth. This is something I definitely need to get into. If I know that the truth is absolute and that God will back me up, there is no battle I can loose. Part of me often thinks it needs to make excuses for God or something silly like that. I am asking God to change my mindset about this because I need some refinement.

Just to clarify: the connection between my three ideas (devotionals, the Manor and Bexth) is that there are people who want to hear or who are ready to hear but we need to make it painfully clear that we have news to tell. In verse 12 it says, "all the believers used to meet together" and so I should remember to be that big presence with our group. There aint no shaaame in it!


I also realized aujourd'hui that I need to serve Campus Crusade for Christ, I need to serve Christ for the time being. It does not matter how I feel about the organization (you KNOW it does not matter how I feel about serving Christ) or what I think my future with it will be. All that matters is that this is where God has placed me for now. Why would He let me graduate if I started cursing and vandalizing my highschool? Take that lesson from Joseph, son of Jacob: serve where you are placed. If God is keeping you in a low place to get you ready to do something great, it is good to be in a low place.

Thank You, God, for all You are.