triet XL

1 - Just now a customer said, "Wow! I'd hire ya," when I answered his opening friendly question, "Workin' hard today?"

Well aware that Saturdays are much slower than weekdays and this slushy Saturday was worse than most, I decided to mention the most difficult task I'd completed this morning. "Well, I just went up on the roof to clear snow off the satellite dish cos the debit [system] was down..." My tone went up at the end, implying a "does that count?" inquiry.

"I'd hire you," he said, and I was flattered.

2 - Last week a regular (who has no indoor voice) greeted me with, "Hello, nice laydee." I laughed a lot and then asked if it was a Jerry Lewis send-up. He looked at me like he had no idea who Jerry Lewis was. I was agog because this guy's in he early fiftes! Ahh, well.

3 - One of the first things my boss says to me this morning when he comes in is how "nice" I am. (Again.) He asks me why (again) and I tell him (again) that I've already told him why.

The conversation continues and I am delighted to be cornered into saying (again) that yes, Jesus is God.

He'd said he was impressed that I "volunteer" so much. I asked what he thinks I volunteer with... cos I don't. (I probably will never "volunteer" in my life. It annoys me.) He explains that I do it all the time and he means that I help people or do things for them. I guess he is right. Funny terminology but he's right.

I told him, sounding like an idiotic Sunday school teacher, "Jesus says to serve others as if we're serving Him so in that case it's easy for me because of how much I love God." [Here I cringe inwardly. It's the over-boiled, plain rice of sentiments.] "It's just an overflow."

I'm telling the truth. It felt good because it seemed to be an answer he grasped (finally!). Agree or not, find me crazy or not, a simple transference seemed to click. Wonderful.

3(b) - On that note, I really regret hesitating to go outside and ask if I could pay a guy's cab fare when he clearly couldn't pay. The ATM hadn't given him the response he wanted and I watched as he leaned in the open door hoping for something to change. I hesitated because I have no attachment to him and because I would probably never see him again. I was wrong and that is selfish. I kinda feel haunted by regret. I do and don't hope the feeling goes away.


Should end this post on a positive note. I'm listening to Biggie Smalls.

Catching up on everything and nothing.

(1) Today I didn't have the 15 seconds to go back upstairs to get earrings before I needed to leave the house. It is, I believe, the first time since I had my ears pierced (in 2004?) that it didn't get on my nerves ALL DAY to be without them. At least a half-dozen times I have bought a pair while out just so I didn't have to feel nakes.

Today I didn't mind. I liked that it was something different. I only really noticed when I turned my head or leaned over and expected to feel something thwap! my neck/jaw.

(2) If I don't figure out how to do something distinct and purposeful with [music] soon I will shrivel up and blow away in the wind. (That's rhetoric.)

(3) Today I participated in a group presentation that will be worth 10% of my final grade. It went well. It went weird(ly) and I made some lame jokes but that's what I do and it was fine. Before class I was having a bird* but when the superego set the id down and said, "Calm it," in a stern voice, I was better. I loudly reminded myself that God is God and this project means nothing in light of eternity. I was as prepared as I was and I needed to only do my best and remain calm. It was pretty good and I apreciate that it was challenging. I appreciate that people in the seminar engage in critical thinking with us all for 160 minutes every week. After the first proper seminar I felt so refreshed hearing people use rich words without blinking. It's what English majors (English scholars, lovers of literature) do! Pugnacious, posit, mitigate, pare, exemplify... I can't think of any of the real good ones but yeah. I don't think I have been in a group in a long time where my natural vocabulary doesn't stick out (and I end up limiting it).

Great.

(4) I've been very impressed with God lately.

This time last week, my recent decision to cut work hours to accomodate an academic workload a liiiiiittle bit exploded in my face. To pay for everything I need to pay for I would have to ______. I didn't actually know how it would work out.

I told God that I would take whatever extra shift was offered to me because I had to. Much as I relish the idea of NOT working there, I also could do with the humility, discipline and seeing more of the regulars. (It is unreal how much I missed the regulars. I think I'm being well weaned though... I feel good forfeiting control.)

I chatted with YHWH a lot about this, let Him know I realized the errors I'd made and asked if He would provide help/a solution. Then I left it. The end of my worry was cauterized - done. I then spent money as if I would have enough income forthcoming to cover my needs and the good things I wanted to do. (Yes, some things got the ax but I wasn't going to live like Jah won't provide the bread. I aint now coward, no sir.)

On Monday I learned that since I have held this job now for more than a year, I am entitled to vacation pay. My boss asked if he could put the lump sum on this next paycheque. I said, "Holy crap, Jesus -- You're good!!" I mean...good timing. Sheesh.

Sheesh.

Later on Monday a coworker's availability changed so that I've been given two more shifts for at least this week but possibly also the next six weeks. It will be one of the more grotesque juggling acts you've ever seen but I trust God to write and rewrite my schedule as He pleases.

Ahh.

(5) Tonight I made choco chip cookies from scratch to give to a regular whose birthday was this week. They are delicious. I am looking forward to giving them away. As in, REALLY looking forward because I have been hoping for an opp to go above and beyond with these guys for a long time but they just haven't had complex or demanding enough orders. There it is.


(6) Remember that time that my alarm is going to ring in five hours and twenty-four minutes? I do.

Ricky Gervais was very funny on the Late Show with David Letterman tonight.

I was happy to have stumbled upon the segment while looking for "The Simpsons" (1989-present) which I haven't seen in AGES.

He is funny in a unique way that I can barely describe. He's talented (natural), skilled (worked for) and brilliant (combination inborn and learned). He knows how to craft a joke and to craft humor, and how to work on any given number of levels at any time.

I think he might actually be ahead of his time. (When have I ever used THAT phrase...?) When he left the show I thought to myself that he hasn't even entered his prime, nevermind peaked. The guy has entertainment and comedic genius that many can see -- but he doesn't dominate or demand to be enshrined. I like him a lot.

I just re-remembered I'm two days behind on a work deadline (for the second week running). I only signed in to blog my recent realization that I need to be more careful and attentive with my language as I struggled twice to not cuss during a Bible study meeting tonight.

I don't mean that Christians don't swear or good Christians shouldn't swear or that no one in the room had heard a cuss word before. I only mean that I think many people in the room would be offended and that I would have no defense.

It was weird in the moment because it wanted to come out as a natural part of my speech -- and swearing is only "natural" for me in a season, either a season of anger and hard-heartedness or a season of permissable freedom where I am unconvicted in a non-sinful way. (The latter usually can't last a week before I am flaunting my freedom and taking advantage of grace.)

Yesterday I said one of the harshest "f*** you"s I think I've ever said. I actually took a breath and then deliberately spat the words out because I didn't want to take the time to express myself more eloquently. I cussed at Newt Gingrinch when he said something utterly deplorable, this after a series of foolish and arrogant slightly less offensive statements. That guy is really getting on my nerves recently and I HATE that politics deals so much with veneers that a public (though stupid and insincere) apology makes everything OK. It's like telling a jury to disregard a comment made by the witness or a lawyer. We all heard it and the judge telling us to ignore it means we'll attribute even more weight to it. The judge wants us to observe the proceedings as if someone hadn't said what they said. Judge calls it inadmissable. I call it audible.

Anyhow... yesterday I was surprised at how easily the words came out because I MEANT it. Today I was concerned that I may not stop myself in time if this keeps happening.

The first one during Bible study (actually small group) was a knee-jerk response to a friend I'd called who pretended to hang up on/snub me. ("Pretended". I couldn't actually tell.) A rude name was instantly on my tongue and as far as I can tell I spake it so quietly that no one heard -- which is impressive considering the word ends with a hard K sound.

The second cuss stemmed from righteous anger (about deadly, pervasive half-truths that can lead/have corrupted many) but I managed to swap in "crappy" at the last minute..which is somehow better.


What shall we say then?

Christmas 2011, part 6 (the bits and bobs)

If I could finish this post some time soon, that would be great. I am itchig to post about NON-Christmas things. (Today might not legit be the day for it because this bandaged thumb is holding me back like mad.)

(1) On Christmas Eve, we headed to my brother's place which is just down the road from my Dad's but has a much more spacious kitchen and living room. It's my first time there and it's neat.

I took in a lot of television that evening (maybe four hours' worth?) because it was on and I wasn't doing any of the other available activities: smoking on the balcony, cooking, playing a game, being my dad's random friends that I don't know and feel weird about.

Together, four of us watched a Russel Peters set. It was funny. He is skilled but almost too scientific in his approach. He has hit a very strange level in celebrity/popularity unique to stand-ups. Generally, I find it cringeful. I've seen it with Chris Rock, Dane Cook, Eddie Murphy (I think the show/tape was called "Delirious"), Robin Williams, Carlos Mencia, JAMIE FOXX times a million and I can't think of any others.

There's that little period soon after someone "makes it"; the Escalade has arrived and they're dressed like they always wished they could dress. They parade across an obscenely oversized stage with about an hour's worth of material to do a two-hour set. They rely on the crowd's insatiable enrapture, on recycled material and (if applicable) on catchphrases. They're coasting.

Shoot. I digress!

While Peters was on, we laughed aloud and discussed but afterward, most people HALF-watched TV while doing other things and talking to one another. Me, I ONLY watched (How the Grinch Stole Christmas! (1966) followed immediately by How the Grinch Stole Christmas (2000)) and I paid great attention to all of it. I sank into the cartoon and the motion picture like I sank into that comfortable couch, be-blanketed.

It was amazing. Everyone left me alone so I could be in my head but still be in a room with eleven other people. Eleven. Alone. My brain. Dr. Seuss, Boris Karloff and Jim Carrey. What a blessing.

(2) This is an uninterrupted succession of text-massages I sent that is maybe a more earnest way of telling the story:

There were two things I wanted to say to you like two weeks ago. What were they?
Well, maybe three... But I told you one (maybe?).

Come on! Be my brain secretary. Brainretary.

Oh! One was thank you for telling me about the cheapy cheapy pb O Henrys at Dollarama. I bought eight- four for each of these guys who go gaga over them and kept trying to get me to eat them.

We sell the double bars for $2.19 so I have sold them only two or three in like the past year cos it's a riduclous price and they have families, etc. It has honestly been just about the only thing we can bond over... So one day I did make myself eat one just so I could add something new to the conversation in giving my opinion.

I bundled the bars with tacky, Christmas penguin ribbon and thankfully saw them just before my shift ended. They both seemed speechless and only said, "Are you serious??!" and, "Thank you." It was really neat that it only cost me $7 or whatever but it made a big impact.

I wanted to thank you for enabling me to give a good gift. The next time I saw L**, he thanked me again and told me that they had been having a bad day that day so the choco was perfect timing. (Also said his friend made himself sick because he ate three of them immediately hahahaha which is both hilarious and gross.)

That friend, actually, is the one who told me that eating large chocolate bars is, "good for the abs." Amazing.

I hope this succession of textmassages has annoyed you as you're trying to drive home from work, unable to check them. You are welcome.

Christmas 2011, part 5b: The Record Player in the Car

Slightly ripped right thigh of my jeans and moderately sore quads later, I was on the road with a ghetto record player (and tape deck combo) in my trunk and back seat, chuffed to bits.

I pulled in as my bro and dad were walking back from the store. They pretended to be talking about me, loudly and obnoxiously as they came within earshot. This is a typical Farquharsonism. IT WAS FUNNY. I've left the rear passenger door open and ask my dad if he wants it. "Ohhh-ho, man," he replies, sizing it up. "Yes."

I ask if they'll help me bring it in. (I don't think I can on my own.) My dad says they'll take it in and they hand me the groceries. Glad for the trade.

So... It gets loaded in and my dad disappears into the kitchen. When my dad does holiday cooking, he gets in a zone and other things around him are ignored- often they're deferred til after the meal, which is bizarre. My brother 1 (25 years old) immediately sets to hooking it up.

He soon discovers that there are NO wires to connect the speakers to the phono. He finds an old radio and first checks that IT doesn't work so that gutting wouldn't be a tragedy. He takes 30 or 40 minutes of diligent figuring, wiring, cleaning, testing and tuning but he gets it to work.

For most of the time, younger brother 4 (11 years old) is watching, rapt by the electrical work, the patient & detailed work, and a turntable! He's young enough that he may have never seen a record player. (I remember the look on his face five or six years ago when he tried to check out the photo I'd just taken by looking at the back of my disposable camera.)

When we get close, we get a record ready. I pick Stevie Wonder, as you do. Brother 4 asks how to start playing and I explain the arm, needle and grooves. He put it as close to the start of the side as he could manage. Even me, I remember learning to have steady hands.

More finessing and more fiddling and we can't figure out why the radio will play but the the phono won't. I don't know what Brother 1 was working on but I so admire how he does stuff like this! No training.

And then...

On pops "Part-time Lover" (loudly), which is one of Mr Wonder's finer tracks, with a slammin' beat that doesn't let you sit still.

In excited response to the successful wiring job, and to the gorgeous track, I start clapping boisterously on beats two and four. ALL THREE OF MY SIBLINGS joined me by the time the first beat four had arrived. No words, just clapping and dancing.

Then hahah THEN, without a word, we all realize we need to swarm the only non-clapping sibling in the room who is trying to take a nap. Mind you, he chose to take a nap with his head under a guitar (no euphemism - that's literally what he did) because he didn't want to be SO comfortable that he could fall into a deep sleep.

So, all four of us clapped loudly and danced at our brother (eventually leaning into him...swarming) until he responded in some way. And then we broke and the moment was done.


But me, I'm soaring high.

I was able to bring the turntable in and my brother was able to get it working to unlock the music my dad loves that, until then, was only adorning the walls.

Win- two people get rid of a turntable they're not using
Win- my dad gets a turntable
Win- Brother 1 gets to resurrect an electronic device
Win- Brother 4 gets to observe constructive work & problem-solving and gets to learn about records
Win- my heart is full
Win- Stevie Wonder!

It's a win-win-win-win-win-win situation.
And it cost zero dollars! (Unless you count the extra fuel required to drive with the extra weight in the car... which I would like to because I love maths and physics.  So, it cost me a little bit.)

Christmas 2011, part 5: The Car

I rented a Chevy Cruze from the 24th to the 26th.

I drove 691km inside roughly 87 hours.  GOOD TIMES.

B across he street told me weeks ago that they'd be open on Saturday the 24th and that I could come in first thing in the morning. Then on Thursday he told me they'd be closed on Christmas Eve so why don't I come in Friday afternoon? I was bummed because I didn't want to pay for an extra fifteen hours.

He assures me there will be no additional charges! Huzzah! Final detailing with wheels = :) for me.


(A) I had made plans to hang with a toastful friend on Friday and we were in one another's company for a solid six hours. They flew by! We malled it, having coffee (on her), dinner (on me), and a bit off shopping. It was a really nice relaxful end to a week.

(B) When we parted ways, I got my game face on. My face literally changed as I hunkered down to knock out a lengthy to-do list so I could leave Guelph at 8am the next day.

Four minutes into the drive home I get a call from someone who's never called me. He is asking, on bethalf of his sister and hisself if I would like to go see Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows (2011). It starts in twenty minutes. I say yes a hundred times and push the gas pedal nearer the floor.

The film is great*.
The company is wonderful.
I was very pleased to have my Friday night extended past midnight, especially when it's the holidays and I'm driving.

*The film was actually superb; I just don't want to get sidetracked. Maybe one of very few sequels to supercede the original.

(C) With the car, I was able to come to Guelph for Saturday evening service and Sunday morning service. I don't think a single trek took me more than forty minutes. And, as I said before, having time alone was really precious and helpful. I liked that the Cruze meant I didn't have to pick between family and church family.

I have a CD case full of discs I'm most likely to want to listen to when given the option of using a CD player. Every time I've rented a car that CD dude has come with me. So, I now have a very strongly associated soundtrack for driving, particularly long distances. That music is also strongly connected to a feeling of freedom/autonomy.

>II - Boyz 2 Men 
>Mockingbird - Derek Webb
>Norton Anthology Classics - Beethoven, Schubert, Haydn, Liszt, Gay, Pergolesi, C. Schubert, Mozart (the only names I can think of now but there are about 40 composers over four discs)
>The Sting (soundtrack) - Marvin Hamlisch, Scott Joplin
>Sounds for the Evening - Jared Wohlgemuth
>Thankful - Mary Mary
>Between Faith and These Eyes - eleVate
>One Voice - Andrew Johnston (though I haven't listened to this since the week I bought it in 2009)
>News of the World - Queen

... can't remember any more. But that's my driving music and no, it's not enough to satisfy my musical appetite but it's fine. Soon as I get an auxilliary cable to put an iPod through car speakers, I'm laughin'. Need more pop, rock and Bublé.

(D) At one point my dad, two of my brothers and I took a short trip to the mall. When we all exited the car the anomaly hit me and I noted aloud, "I can't believe it: ALL FOUR of us were cramped in there." Seats were pulled up and legs were swung to one side but we were all cramped because it is a normal compact car and I was the shortest at 5'11".
I like that, in terms of height, my family makes me average (below average, even!).

(E) On Christmas Eve my dad absent-mindedly announced that he wanted a record player because he has a couple dozen records, most of them music from his youth, and he's dying to put them on. Of course he could re-buy the music in some playable form but he loves vinyl.

On Christmas morning I was back in Guelph and pulled into my driveway after church to grab a few things when remembered that the people I live with had asked me a few months ago if I wanted their old turntable. I had said yes wanting to be able to have it but not knowing if I could reasonably follow through.

I had a car and enough upper-body strength and my dad wanted one and they wanted to get rid of it and BAM! ...cue new post.

Christmas 2011, part 4

Every Monday and Thursday, J__ comes to stock our shelves to the brim with Lays products and any Monday and/or Thursday I can find time, I am chatting with J__.

He is naturally talkative and naturally salesmanesque (or schmoozey, if you will) so he will talk (to anyone) as long as he can. He's pretty good at talking while he works but will also stand still to chat and chat and chat to gals who work at Tims, to my boss, to guys that happen to walk in that he knows from such-and-such a place and to any one that drops into a conversation with him. I have grown very fond of him and though I don't see him as a fatherish figure, we're kinda like that.

It's nice to chat with someone and have zero drama.

On the 20th of December, a Monday, I asked him if he was coming in on Thursday or Wednesday this week because Friday was a holiday for most peeps and I don't work on Wednesdays. He said it would probably be Wednesday. I said, "Innnteresting," and continued on my way to the freezer. When I came back he said maybe he'd need to make a special trip to see me and I disagreed. I told him I'd just leave the little something for him to get on Wednesday.

He insists and insists. I don't expect him to show because it's a busy season/week and he may well have misgauged his time budget. I'd see him the next week anyways. He thought he'd come by first thing in the morning after he'd picked up the truck. "I'm passing right by; there's no reason I can't come see you."

It is funny that the 22nd was a plain, old Thursday and that we both knew the following Tuesday (bumped from holiday Monday) would come soon enough but the unspoken lament was that we wouldn't get to wish one another a Happy Christmas on the last possible day. We were both thinking it but it's silly.

When 8am passed I figured he'd forgotten or discovered he was too busy to afford the detour. By 10am I was certain I wouldn't see him and found it a bit relieving because the book I'd ordered for him hadn't even arrived yet so he'd be getting a half-present anyways.

Then, just past noon a VERY yellow truck split the dreary, grey landscape of the industrial park I had been staring into. I didn't particularly feel excited, but with no customers I went to the front door to peer out and make sure it was really him. He caught me, and laughed HEARTILY. I laughed at myself and retreated inside.

"You came!" popped out of my mouth when he entered. At the same time he confessed, "I almost forgot, kiddo. I almost forgot."

He explains how it had happened and how he remembered (marking the first time I've heard him swear). I tell him it's fine. He gives me a bag of shortbread his wife has made, the very same shortbread I'd hoped to sample when he told me several weeks ago that he brings them for clients every Christmas. (My boss didn't get one but I did!)

I am thankful. I go back to the counter and produce the card and gingerbread man I'd prepared. To my full cringefulness, he read it there, while I was serving customers. I had written thanks for being fun to talk to and for making me laugh (I think). He tells me that if he wasn't such a guy, I'd be getting a card, too.

I take that as a card.

He stayed for a short while to shoot the breeze. It was a little intimidating having a twenty-year vet of customer service observe me at work. But, he did commend me for innovation at one point so that was cool.

Eventually he says he needs to go but a couple more minutes pass. And then when I sense he's gonna go for real I walk back around the counter not quite sure if I will have the guts to ask for what I plan to call a "Christmas hug". As I open my mouth to ask, I realize his arms are already open. Love it when two people have the same idea like that.

And,
nothing beats a sincere hug!


Nothing.