an excerpt (2)

Exerpts from an email I wrote:

"Although it is right to pray with God's will, that does not mean we can only pray if we know what God's will is. If you are not getting a clear answer about something or if a situation is not changing before your eyes, that doesnot mean your prayers are incorrect, too short or insincere. It means that God is sovereign.

"How is it better to neglect the most important person in your life than to drop the things that feel more pressing? This is just like tithing, I think. You can either give back to God 10% of what He gave you and have 90% of your resources blessed, or you can keep all 100% and have it all cursed. It is such a harsh reality and I meet it way too many times. We somehow think that we can make good with what He gives us (waving Him off - as if He's a pesky mother - with our careless hand, back turned) as we furiously try to work a mass of Popsicle sticks and glue into a sturdy cabin so we can turn and proudly display the crooked, dripping creation. I do this all the time. I try to perfect my family life, or my ministry without actually consulting God so I can say, "Look what I did!!" and get His approval. Making us co-heirs with Christ is probably the best approval we'll ever get and it is complete and irrevokable. Yet still, it is as if I wish to EARN His favor ([a concept] not too different from trying to earn salvaition). This is almost like refusing grace. Wow.. that's yea. We almost think, 'God, you just don't understand! My professor's going to kill me if I don't finish this such&such..' as if He didn't create the professor, the such&such and our entire lives."

I posted these two things because they carried a sort of mild rebuke for me as they appeared on my screen, the second more than the first. I have a terrible habit of trying to separate areas of my life: "Things I Trust God Completely For", "Things God & I work on Together" and "Things I do and Hope God is OK With". I am not entirely sure what percentage of my life each category holds, but I know that the third one should not exist. I just tried to do it a minute ago, thinking about quaternary studies (or post-post-secondary or post-tertiary).

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