newspapers, sluts and 48 car washes (part 1 of 2)

alternate title: I'll have to think about that.

-I've been waiting to write this post for a few weeks and I'm glad that two-thirds of it are still ripe in my mind and experience.

-The alternate title is something I was meant to follow up on, mentioned in this post.

-I'm combining the two because I can. Accept it.


The I'll have to think about that was what I said after I realized that the s-word found in the proper title of this post is more insulting/hurtful/has a greater impact for women than many other words that may denote the exact same thing. I actually forget the word used at the time but it must have been something like "easy" though I'm sure it was something harsher. Anyways, I told the person I was talking to (whose comment involving an s-word synonym I laughed at and then caught myself) that I'd have to think about why one word stings so much more.

Off the top of my head, my answer was and is that the sound of the actual word is harsher, that biting, final T just like the one found at the end of a four letter c-word that I can't stand. Or the K at the end of the f-bomb. Harsh sounds in English.
The second part of my answer must be about the way we use it in this culture and the truth is that it has this derisive, cutting-down, condescending air to it that doesn't surround the word "promiscuous". I remember when the s-word started floating around my high school... I remember when people talked about the double-standard, how women could be sluts but men were players; how one was shunned and the other congratulated.
I hear the word and the action of putting down always accompanies it. Often I see a person being shoved down or a person being hit with the back of another's hand so that they tumble down. It's a harsh word and we use it to hurt. We've tried to reclaim it in some circles but I don't buy it. (I actually don't think it's worth reclaiming.)

There is a permanent inferiority associated with the s-word for me; it seems to be the kind of label that can't ever be removed once applied, either because of actions or perception (i.e. if you were able to call someone that, there is a particular view of them cemented in your mind).



Sigh. A few weeks ago I applied the word to myself to quickly (read: in laziness) produce a snapshot of my former self. For actions and intentions, the word fit. I regretted its use immediately after it was out of my mouth but much more so when the word was applied back to me a few days later by the person I'd first used it with.
My hands were tied by the crappy, crappy hypocrisy.

that word hurts.

I'm a bit fascinted.

The next level down has to be the root of a woman's sensitivity about sexuality or percieved sexuality. I don't know quite where to go with this but it is the level I want to explore. I think many of us understand how much and how often we are valued or evaluated based on sexuality or our relationship to sex or how much of a sex object we are and we probably always want positive feedback or a positive response in this. Add in the basic insecurity and desire to be desired that we all have (plus the general corruptness of mankind) and presto! you've got a complex.

Somehow all of that stuff in the last paragraph looks like a taut thread in my mind and the s-word just snaps it. It's like a tightrope with much balancing on it that snaps and leaves NOTHING. Weird. I don't think I can explain it further.

To be continued...