Christmas 2011, part 2

I wish I had put more effort into and focus on worshipping Christ at this time.
I am deeply grateful for the six 45-minute drives between home and fam that gave me time to chat with YHWH and to worship through music and verbal gratitude (maybe we call that "laud"). It was time to decompress, reenergize and refocus.


Saturday's evening service was hard for me though I'm still not sure why. It's no longer bothering me so I've let it go.

Sunday's service was pretty cool. I've never attended one on Christhams Day. I did not practice before Sunday (I forgot to make time) and so I was at 70% confidence for most songs, and like 25% for one of them. (It's normally between 85 and 95% because I work for it.) It was a distraction and I was convicted about needing to put in the time needed for me to do my job well.

During the offering I sang on my own. It wasn't until the end of the first chorus that I'd made my final decision on how much of the song I'd sing. Somewhere between verse three and the second chorus I closed my eyes and no one else was in the room. All of a sudden if I had needed confidence it was at 101% but I didn't need it because I wasn't performing.

It's a funny thing.

God is good.

At that time I was confessing sin and confessing His lordship... I was looking Him in the face, telling Him who He was and what I'd done. (And imagine- He still loves me.)

It was a SWEET, sweet sound to hear silence when I was done, shortly followed by the reading of Scripture. I was surprised that when I opened my eyes my eyelashes were wet.

My brother was going to join me that morning and I was chuffed by the prospect but at the last minute, something came up and my heart sank. I was legit looking forward to introducing him to my life in my city, to some of my friends and looking forward to chatting with him during the drive. Sigh. He says he'll come some other time. Je hope he will.