No one set my alarm so I had a lie-in until around 8.30.
No one told me to get out of bed so I checked email and blogged til just before 10.
No one told me to be quiet or disobedient so I loudly sang worship songs to the Lord of Heaven and Earth as I got ready to enter the day.
[Heavily featured? "Hallelujah to my King", "O Come, O Come Emmanuel" and "Shackles (Praise You)".]
No one told me to be chintzy so I indeed spoiled myself at the farmer's market, as per the request of a friend who had given me money to facilitate a do-what-energises-you Saturday.
No one told me to hide it under a bushel so as I walked about, my face smiled and smiled and smiled--loudly. (I'm loved.)
No one blocked my path so the spoiling continued at my favorite coffee shop.
I wrote and read and wrote and reflected and read (and now I'm finished the Book of Jeremiah!) and listened to Vivaldi and wiggled my toes in delight with the coffee and wrote some more. I spaced (that's a good thing), meditated and considered.
No one said life with Jesus was pain-free so I experienced something like panic, despair and a heavy heart as I tried to delve deeper into the underlying issues of the un-happy Wednesday mentioned in this morning's blog post. I tried to give up. I tried to back off the cusp over which the Lord is leading me to His Better Life--in His Timing!. Then, at just the right time, He sent through a human agent just enough encouragement for me to want to get back in the saddle.
This is going to be so hard.
No one told me to half-ass my job so I went in to work to settle some final details before service tomorrow. (Going in on a Saturday afternoon at the cost of Thursday's fireworksversation is no-brainerly worth it.)
No one told me to limit how often I worship in song so I did that more than I practised, tested new orchestration and reprinted/re-bindered music in new keys. It was a good time. I usually hate going in on Saturdays because I feel the weight of how I should have been able to get all my work done on the weekdays. But today was just right. Anything to take the pressure off of Sunday morning.
No one told me to eat out all the time so I picked up some groceries and headed home. I've eaten dinner, washed up and am now finishing the blog post. The night is young. I have a few things to do today yet but it's been a good day. I feel heavy like something horrible is coming. And maybe it is. (Or maybe I'm tired.) We shall see.
Oh, how great the kindness our God has shown:
we were strangers; now we're called His own.
His grace has welcomed the sinner home;
tender mercies lead us to the throne.
Hallelujah, what a Savior;
I owe everything to Him.
Hallelujah, what a Savior;
Hallelujah to my King!
[This whole song is perfect but as I have been mobbed by His kindness in a millionteen ways the past couple weeks, that word/trait in the second verse here just grips me and drives me to gratitudinal worship.]
O come, o come Emmanuel
and ransom captive Israel
that mourns in lonely exile here
until the Son of God appear.
Rejoice! Rejoice! Emmanuel shall come to thee, O Israel.
[This song was NEW and PROFOUND to me this morning. We've all been longing and then He showed up. Boom.]
In the corners of my mind
I just can't seem to find
a reason to believe that I can break free.
I've been down for so long;
feels like all hope is gone
But as I lift my hands
I understand that I should
praise You through my circumstance.
Take these shackles off my feet so I can dance;
I just wanna praise You,
I just wanna praise You.
You broke the chains now I can lift my hands
and I'm gonna praise You;
I'm just gonna praise You.
I might forget everything else my pastor says but today I purposefully wore these earrings because I will always associate cupcakes with eternal life, that free gift found in Jesus alone.
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