Just over three weeks ago, the Lord inaugurated the final stages of a decade-long war. That would make this season of my life the Battle of the Bulge.*
*By this, I mean a battle the Enemy started after he knew he had ultimately lost the War. Inane and a gratuitous waste of soldiers' lives. Childish and proud on the Enemy's part. (Satan knows Jesus is ultimately victorious but he still throws in everything he can during this last skirmish, these light and momentary troubles. Click the hyperlink for the historical parallel.)
His love endures forever.
Over the past year or so I have been battling with a destructive, addictive habit that I was using to cope with some suppressed trauma. Lucid enough in a moment to realise I didn't really want the addiction, I reached out to a dear friend for help. My accountability was forever changed and my conscience found it more and more difficult to check out when I engaged or considered engaging the habit.
His love endures forever.
The struggle continued for months and seemed to improve when I made an accountability move of my own.
His love endures forever.
But then three-and-a-half weeks ago, I found a loophole.
His love endures forever.
And I ratted myself out!
His love endures forever.
I appeared to have borrowed my friend's conviction because he was surer than I was that I needed to stop. I confessed the final time and he was gracious as ever. But this time, I was told, would be the last time before I would need to get professional help. OK, friend. I hear you.
His love endures forever.
Four days later I found an even more creative loophole but this time I engaged the habit in public, at work, in my very own office.
His love endures forever.
His love endures forever.
My friend found me sitting in my shame and pain, and invited me to get up (both literally and figuratively). The part of me that wanted intervention had finally grown to 51% and tipped the scales. That was the day the connection between ten years' baggage and one year of harmful behavior became impossible to deny.
His love endures forever.
Give thanks to the Lord, for He is good.
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