I forgot that I cleaned my desk yesterday.

But I totally did and it was a rather climweldian surprise today.


Last week someone told me it would be sad when I left Crestwicke (our local church congregation).  I didn't really hear [read: imbibe, digest, accept] all of the sentiment but from what I could skim off the top, I was appreciative. I think I smiled and nodded and that could have been fine.

But, really thinking about it, I added, "I don't know how to think about that day." It's one of those cases where simple language and awkward grammar have to do the talking for me.

And after it was out of my mouth I felt a little shocked at how far that means I've come. I remembered how it was about two-and-a-half years ago that I was so fed up I was making up reasons not to go. I even gave a deadline of one year to see things turned around. (And the Lord, who is so weird, changed my heart about seven months early. In fact, He started changing it about eleven months early but we won't talk about that.)




It is very weird to think about where I was, how I was itching to go, how I was often seething about how appallingly unbiblical we were in our actions and attitudes.



And now... the thought of leaving bothers me so much that I don't think about it for more than a few seconds at a time. As in... I can't think it through. It's a little bit [read: 100% completely] like this is my family. Of course I know how the upper-case-C Church works but it will still surely be difficult to leave Crestwicke and leave Guelph. I cannot believe I'm saying that, given that we're actually far from being healthy as of today.



But--
  the
  Lord
  does
  stuff.


Yes, He does; selah and amen.



(This is not at all the blog post I had in mind when I sat down to type. In fact I was supposed to be doing work but someone opened this Blogger site on a new tab and made me start typing. Weird.)