I don't like doing bad things [but/and] sometimes I do them.
It's a Very Merry Muppet Christmas Movie (2002) is on right now. It's very funny. It's July. I am....feeling really weird right now. There's so much to say (and do!)...Kermit is really cute, I'm not lying.
William H. Macy is really hilariod in this film. yes...I am really enjoying this. I'm sorry I didn't watch it til now. I think I bought this in November or December. I didn't watch it cos someone was telling me it was junk...and I'm not always in the mood for Christmas-themed things. This is just magical...hahah Glad I indulged.
I wanna meet Jim Henson but not really. I'd rather just get a tour of his studio/workspace.
Yeah, that's probably it.
8/10
Sunday, 12 July 2009
Sunday, 5 July 2009
A good thing about moving from GMT to EST after eight months of the former is that you can sleep in til 2 and it's only 9.
A weird thing about moving from the UK to Canada is that you might forget which side of the road to drive on when you're behind the wheel. It's often best not to mention this to your passengers.
Thank God for muscle memory which allowed me to drive like I've been away for a week.
-
I had a weird night before leaving.
I feel quite impinged here, sitting in my dad's living room with no one else awake. They were happy to see me but not explosive. I feel weird. But I think this is good. I think I'm numbed to wait for proper Debrief tomorrow.
A weird thing about moving from the UK to Canada is that you might forget which side of the road to drive on when you're behind the wheel. It's often best not to mention this to your passengers.
Thank God for muscle memory which allowed me to drive like I've been away for a week.
-
I had a weird night before leaving.
I feel quite impinged here, sitting in my dad's living room with no one else awake. They were happy to see me but not explosive. I feel weird. But I think this is good. I think I'm numbed to wait for proper Debrief tomorrow.
Sunday, 28 June 2009
MOCKBA
On my second last day in-country, we were in a market in Moskva. One of my coworkers was explaining to someone else how he'd redeemed Shoppers Optimum Points to get his digital camera. Then he explained how Shoppers had (recently?) changed the points system so that it was decidedly less awesome and that he and his wife were none to pleased with it and would stop collecting. The term "Shoppers Optimum" or "Shoppers Optimum Points" came up in the conversation quite a few times and I kept AutoCorrect-ing in my head to say, "Shoptimum Points" because that's how I do it. I like contractions.
When he had finished that conv and he was within earshot of me, I said, "You know, if you want to save time, you could just call them 'Shoptimum Points'," and he takes a minute to process. His face was blank enough that I thought he either hadn't heard me or didn't understand the point. A moment later, "Yeap....or 'Shoptipoints'."
This friggin blew my MIND.
And while I'm recovering from that, he continues, "Or 'Shoints'," and even now I'm still laughing out loud to myself. It was friggin hilarious....My laugh at that moment did not do it justice and the facial expression and everything...ahh. I can't describe how this humor has so much more weight behind it on account of ME being the kind of person who shortens and contracts MANY things often to the annoyance of other people. Like seriously - it is a beloved pasttime. And here's the person I only met a few weeks before but am already thinking is friggin cool/himdam (that means hilarious) and boom: Shoints. I can't even deal...the face he made .ahahahahah
[EST]
When he had finished that conv and he was within earshot of me, I said, "You know, if you want to save time, you could just call them 'Shoptimum Points'," and he takes a minute to process. His face was blank enough that I thought he either hadn't heard me or didn't understand the point. A moment later, "Yeap....or 'Shoptipoints'."
This friggin blew my MIND.
And while I'm recovering from that, he continues, "Or 'Shoints'," and even now I'm still laughing out loud to myself. It was friggin hilarious....My laugh at that moment did not do it justice and the facial expression and everything...ahh. I can't describe how this humor has so much more weight behind it on account of ME being the kind of person who shortens and contracts MANY things often to the annoyance of other people. Like seriously - it is a beloved pasttime. And here's the person I only met a few weeks before but am already thinking is friggin cool/himdam (that means hilarious) and boom: Shoints. I can't even deal...the face he made .ahahahahah
[EST]
Wednesday, 24 June 2009
continued from Thursday, 11 June.
That post finished saying I didn't know what the point of the post was.
I was thinking about this stuff yesterday as I made yet another comment on something I was seeing to people around me. I've taken recently to just announcing what I notice so that I can sort of be accountable to myself. It's also been great for showing me how OFTEN I think about these things, though. I think it surprizes my friends a bit but I hope it diminishes (the frequency/volume). I want to say that I do this to help me see the seriousness of it; to bring things to light so I can be ashamed of them and grasp the real gravity of sin. Part of me still enjoys declaring my thoughts but really the volume is doing me in. I hate that the same people are hearing me talk about this guy and that.
This exercise is also helping me discern between a "hmm, that's nice" and a BAZONGA! moment. Yes. It also is showing me to see more like a male than a female, based on who identifies with me more. Is this an important point? I think I said it as an excuse for the previous comment. I don't like that I think about this stuff so often so I thought that if I could push the blame over the line into MAN territory, it wouldn't be a reflection on me, it would be just the way men are. Wow... that is such twisted logic I don't think I understand it. Basically what I want to say after that confession is, "Don't think I'm sick! Men do it too!" Or really, "Men are worse!" proving to me in this very moment that my thinking has not even come close to fully shifting. :(
Onward and upward, I say. Just today I read this: Nevertheless, God's solid foundation stands firm, sealed with this inscription: "The Lord knows those who are his," and, "Everyone who confesses the name of the Lord must turn away from wickedness." Jesus says, Press on. I got your back.
[EST]
I was thinking about this stuff yesterday as I made yet another comment on something I was seeing to people around me. I've taken recently to just announcing what I notice so that I can sort of be accountable to myself. It's also been great for showing me how OFTEN I think about these things, though. I think it surprizes my friends a bit but I hope it diminishes (the frequency/volume). I want to say that I do this to help me see the seriousness of it; to bring things to light so I can be ashamed of them and grasp the real gravity of sin. Part of me still enjoys declaring my thoughts but really the volume is doing me in. I hate that the same people are hearing me talk about this guy and that.
This exercise is also helping me discern between a "hmm, that's nice" and a BAZONGA! moment. Yes. It also is showing me to see more like a male than a female, based on who identifies with me more. Is this an important point? I think I said it as an excuse for the previous comment. I don't like that I think about this stuff so often so I thought that if I could push the blame over the line into MAN territory, it wouldn't be a reflection on me, it would be just the way men are. Wow... that is such twisted logic I don't think I understand it. Basically what I want to say after that confession is, "Don't think I'm sick! Men do it too!" Or really, "Men are worse!" proving to me in this very moment that my thinking has not even come close to fully shifting. :(
Onward and upward, I say. Just today I read this: Nevertheless, God's solid foundation stands firm, sealed with this inscription: "The Lord knows those who are his," and, "Everyone who confesses the name of the Lord must turn away from wickedness." Jesus says, Press on. I got your back.
[EST]
POCCNЯ
I missed nighttime when I was in Russia. Rather, I realize how much I like when the sun goes down, now that I'm back in the UK.
It's 10.40pm and it looks like the sun will be gone within an hour. In St Petersburg, the darkest point in the night was about 2.30am and it really looked like about 9pm in an Ontario summer. It was....it was cool in one sense because there was always natural light, which is handy when you're trying to do things after hours. It was unsettling in another sense because I rely on a dark sky to tell me when it's sleeping time and, more important, the return of the sun after the dark to tell me it's a new day.
I COMPLETELY take for granted that I have only ever lived in English-speaking countries all my life. To bump into someone in the street and not feel terrible butchering the word for excuse me which I don't even know how to spell phoenetically, to get your passport handed back to you and not have to say "spyciba" in an incredibly North-American accent...to be able to walk into any eatery and be able to figure out what you want, either by looking, reading or asking...it's just marvellous. It's all feeling like a luxury right now. BOY, was I ever made timid by living in Russia. Public timidity like, "I shouldn't be here" / "sorry to inconvenience you" kind of thing, etc. etc.
Yeah. I wanna see Transformers, the newb one.
I bought comic books today, for the first time in my life. This is a weird experience but I fully approve.
"If it weren't for Jesus, I ...."
What a great line, delivered with true sincerity and something like far-off distaste. We were sat in the lobby of a four-star hotel in Moskva. He said it and I asked after the ellipsis. "If it weren't for Jesus, you what?" His words had trailed away in volume but he also sounded like he didn't want to finish the sentence aloud. "A lot of things," he says, with finality. I complete the sentence in my head, to let it ring a bit. "If it weren't for Jesus, a lot of things." Yes, this is a true statement. And the person with the bigger debt will love their master more because more grace was extended to them. His tone had implied that I knew exactly what he was referring to and didn't need to ask after specifics. He was right.
We were there around midnight and 1 am and there were a few women around who were working as escorts or prostitutes. We were talking about the reality we were sitting in, reality of the sex business world, mass media portayals/distortions, corruption of man, motivations and where WE were - him and I - in relation to all of this. He said, "If I wasn't a Christian, my friends and I...." he shakes his head and makes that I'm-ashamed-that-this-would-be-me face that we all recognize. I'm waiting because I want to hear it work out because these are the kind of statements that bring us to the "what next" stage. He continues, "...we would be having a competition. Not to see who ..... not to, you know but to see how many offers we could get." I forget his exact words on the end but it made sense to me.
I wonder where else I could go with that sentence. I think it's a good one. "If it weren't for Jesus, I..."
[EST]
It's 10.40pm and it looks like the sun will be gone within an hour. In St Petersburg, the darkest point in the night was about 2.30am and it really looked like about 9pm in an Ontario summer. It was....it was cool in one sense because there was always natural light, which is handy when you're trying to do things after hours. It was unsettling in another sense because I rely on a dark sky to tell me when it's sleeping time and, more important, the return of the sun after the dark to tell me it's a new day.
I COMPLETELY take for granted that I have only ever lived in English-speaking countries all my life. To bump into someone in the street and not feel terrible butchering the word for excuse me which I don't even know how to spell phoenetically, to get your passport handed back to you and not have to say "spyciba" in an incredibly North-American accent...to be able to walk into any eatery and be able to figure out what you want, either by looking, reading or asking...it's just marvellous. It's all feeling like a luxury right now. BOY, was I ever made timid by living in Russia. Public timidity like, "I shouldn't be here" / "sorry to inconvenience you" kind of thing, etc. etc.
Yeah. I wanna see Transformers, the newb one.
I bought comic books today, for the first time in my life. This is a weird experience but I fully approve.
"If it weren't for Jesus, I ...."
What a great line, delivered with true sincerity and something like far-off distaste. We were sat in the lobby of a four-star hotel in Moskva. He said it and I asked after the ellipsis. "If it weren't for Jesus, you what?" His words had trailed away in volume but he also sounded like he didn't want to finish the sentence aloud. "A lot of things," he says, with finality. I complete the sentence in my head, to let it ring a bit. "If it weren't for Jesus, a lot of things." Yes, this is a true statement. And the person with the bigger debt will love their master more because more grace was extended to them. His tone had implied that I knew exactly what he was referring to and didn't need to ask after specifics. He was right.
We were there around midnight and 1 am and there were a few women around who were working as escorts or prostitutes. We were talking about the reality we were sitting in, reality of the sex business world, mass media portayals/distortions, corruption of man, motivations and where WE were - him and I - in relation to all of this. He said, "If I wasn't a Christian, my friends and I...." he shakes his head and makes that I'm-ashamed-that-this-would-be-me face that we all recognize. I'm waiting because I want to hear it work out because these are the kind of statements that bring us to the "what next" stage. He continues, "...we would be having a competition. Not to see who ..... not to, you know but to see how many offers we could get." I forget his exact words on the end but it made sense to me.
I wonder where else I could go with that sentence. I think it's a good one. "If it weren't for Jesus, I..."
[EST]
Wednesday, 17 June 2009
surprize, surprize.
A friend of mine shook my hand because he liked my new shoes so much.
When I saw them, as I tried them on, as I did the conversion from rubles to dollars, as I imagined my whole get-up for the eve, as I imagined the alternative, as I checked the clock over and over in my head, I knew they had to be mine. And I knew he would love them for at least two reasons. I told another friend when she saw me but he hadn't yet, "[So-and-so] is gonna be so proud of me," with a brown-noser grin. I thought it was a safe bet that he would LIKE them, because he likes shoes and I knew the style would kick it.
But I wasn't expecting a parade and a congressional medal. Haha...I definitely got the equivalent. I saw his eyes bzoing! when he spied them (already primed/impressed the moment before) and then a HUGE smile shows up - almost out of control - and a hand slowly but deliberately extends itself my way. I am laughing hard and telling my she-friend who is luckily sat next to me at this moment. "What did I tell you! See?! I told you! ...ahahaha I said, '[He's] gonna be so proud of me'," and wow was I friggin right.
It's funny to be approved for appearance but I don't mind this time. It was a magical moment in my day...I had a hard time pushing it out of my head every now and then so I could focus on the ballet or on conversations. It was just too funny and too precious.
[EST]
When I saw them, as I tried them on, as I did the conversion from rubles to dollars, as I imagined my whole get-up for the eve, as I imagined the alternative, as I checked the clock over and over in my head, I knew they had to be mine. And I knew he would love them for at least two reasons. I told another friend when she saw me but he hadn't yet, "[So-and-so] is gonna be so proud of me," with a brown-noser grin. I thought it was a safe bet that he would LIKE them, because he likes shoes and I knew the style would kick it.
But I wasn't expecting a parade and a congressional medal. Haha...I definitely got the equivalent. I saw his eyes bzoing! when he spied them (already primed/impressed the moment before) and then a HUGE smile shows up - almost out of control - and a hand slowly but deliberately extends itself my way. I am laughing hard and telling my she-friend who is luckily sat next to me at this moment. "What did I tell you! See?! I told you! ...ahahaha I said, '[He's] gonna be so proud of me'," and wow was I friggin right.
It's funny to be approved for appearance but I don't mind this time. It was a magical moment in my day...I had a hard time pushing it out of my head every now and then so I could focus on the ballet or on conversations. It was just too funny and too precious.
[EST]
Thursday, 11 June 2009
Yesterday I sang for the first time in 23 days. I didn't realize I needed it so badly...I had told someone that I felt like music was stuck in my trachea somewhere and I need need needed to get it out. I thought it would be one of those things people would make fun of me for, behind my back and that it was exaggerated emotion...nothing substantial.
and then I sang two songs in the bathroom/shower and WOW such relief came over me, I don't even know.
I haven't sung because I get very little time alone on project and when I do it's when other people are in bed or when I'm walking outside. Neither of these times are appropriate for completely unrestricted singing. In the shower wasn't perfect because I knew there were two people who could hear me but because they couldn't see me and I had decided I didn't care what they thought or, more important, if it bothered them, it was good enough.
I...am a strange person.
This morning in our book study we talked about accountability. I brought up the uncomfortable subject.
I have most recently been convicted that women lust the same as men do. The way it really goes down is not identical but the sin is.
I have been told so many times about how men are visually oriented/stimulated/tempted and how we women can't even begin to fathom what that's like.
Men: I get it. I think I get it as much as I can as a woman and the amount of sympathy I have is unreal.
In the course of working this idea into my understanding, I have inadvertently let myself and other women off the hook. I am disgusted by this. I was talking to a male intern here and he told me about how during the men's book study they have accountability time. "For the book or just ...for life in general?" say I. Pause, half-smile, looking up and nodding, "...for life in general." I knew what he meant... he knew what I was asking. Then in his next sentence or two he said it straight-up.
Earlier that day or maybe the day before, after a particularly insensitive comment he said, "Guys FIGHT for purity," with the kind of emphasis and sincerity that just floored me. In a glimpse he conveyed the depth of a continuous struggle. WOW, what must it be like to always have your sword drawn, slaying big foes and small?
I look at the pack of them (our male staff/interns) and marvel at the unreal amount of godliness they're exuding.
"OK. This week. How were you tempted? Where? When? How?"
Holy crap!! I don't want those questions up in my face! Such trust and...conviction and WOW. They strive.
How would you shield your eyes, how would you act if you knew you were going to be asked what you had allowed to stay in your cranium and run around EVERY Monday and every Thursday. Wow. Us ladies are MISSING OUT. I felt bad about this.
I communicated my thoughts very passionately to two friends yesterday and we all agreed, YES we need help, YES we are fallen and YES, we can stand to take a page out of the guys' notebook. Let's do it. Starting tomorrow.
It was not easy.
But it was good.
I was meant to plan a study for chapter nine which is about the HS being the power source for all God expects from us but namely for the fulfillment of the Great Commission.
I couldn't focus very well. I know I started prepping very LATE (11pm) and then I took maybe an hour and a half to converse with a few people about something that's been on my heart and just felt like it was urgent. I'm glad I had those conversations but then fatigue clamped down on me and I couldn't get it together.
In the morning I didn't get up when I wanted to and I was fighting to not hang myself over my bad stewardship. I just wanted to get this study done but it wasn't shaping up like I wanted... and I was meant to give some memento/tokens to the girls that I had forgotten about so I couldn't figure if it was worth jetting out to the shop in the morning, too.
Before I re-slept at 03h30 I prayed that I could do well in the morning. And in the morning I prayed that I could do exactement what the Spirit wanted. I just couldn't figure it out...there was a wall. So in the back of my mind, I considered that God was keeping me in the dark so He could do something completely off-course.
I had fully forgotten to prep what I wanted to say about accountability, made a few half-notes while we discussed how our weeks had gone and then I jumped into it. I asked them to read James 5:13-6 and then we delved. And after an hour and a half, we had revealed and challenged and agreed to do worse. It was freeing but also made me feel a little gross which I think is a good thing. I think it's good that I wasn't proud of what I had shared.
I'm also elated, though, that we could agree to this. I wish we'd started sooner but, Jesus, my whole life is ahead, n'est-ce pas?
This post feels like it doesn't have a point. Oh well.
[EST]
and then I sang two songs in the bathroom/shower and WOW such relief came over me, I don't even know.
I haven't sung because I get very little time alone on project and when I do it's when other people are in bed or when I'm walking outside. Neither of these times are appropriate for completely unrestricted singing. In the shower wasn't perfect because I knew there were two people who could hear me but because they couldn't see me and I had decided I didn't care what they thought or, more important, if it bothered them, it was good enough.
I...am a strange person.
This morning in our book study we talked about accountability. I brought up the uncomfortable subject.
I have most recently been convicted that women lust the same as men do. The way it really goes down is not identical but the sin is.
I have been told so many times about how men are visually oriented/stimulated/tempted and how we women can't even begin to fathom what that's like.
Men: I get it. I think I get it as much as I can as a woman and the amount of sympathy I have is unreal.
In the course of working this idea into my understanding, I have inadvertently let myself and other women off the hook. I am disgusted by this. I was talking to a male intern here and he told me about how during the men's book study they have accountability time. "For the book or just ...for life in general?" say I. Pause, half-smile, looking up and nodding, "...for life in general." I knew what he meant... he knew what I was asking. Then in his next sentence or two he said it straight-up.
Earlier that day or maybe the day before, after a particularly insensitive comment he said, "Guys FIGHT for purity," with the kind of emphasis and sincerity that just floored me. In a glimpse he conveyed the depth of a continuous struggle. WOW, what must it be like to always have your sword drawn, slaying big foes and small?
I look at the pack of them (our male staff/interns) and marvel at the unreal amount of godliness they're exuding.
"OK. This week. How were you tempted? Where? When? How?"
Holy crap!! I don't want those questions up in my face! Such trust and...conviction and WOW. They strive.
How would you shield your eyes, how would you act if you knew you were going to be asked what you had allowed to stay in your cranium and run around EVERY Monday and every Thursday. Wow. Us ladies are MISSING OUT. I felt bad about this.
I communicated my thoughts very passionately to two friends yesterday and we all agreed, YES we need help, YES we are fallen and YES, we can stand to take a page out of the guys' notebook. Let's do it. Starting tomorrow.
It was not easy.
But it was good.
I was meant to plan a study for chapter nine which is about the HS being the power source for all God expects from us but namely for the fulfillment of the Great Commission.
I couldn't focus very well. I know I started prepping very LATE (11pm) and then I took maybe an hour and a half to converse with a few people about something that's been on my heart and just felt like it was urgent. I'm glad I had those conversations but then fatigue clamped down on me and I couldn't get it together.
In the morning I didn't get up when I wanted to and I was fighting to not hang myself over my bad stewardship. I just wanted to get this study done but it wasn't shaping up like I wanted... and I was meant to give some memento/tokens to the girls that I had forgotten about so I couldn't figure if it was worth jetting out to the shop in the morning, too.
Before I re-slept at 03h30 I prayed that I could do well in the morning. And in the morning I prayed that I could do exactement what the Spirit wanted. I just couldn't figure it out...there was a wall. So in the back of my mind, I considered that God was keeping me in the dark so He could do something completely off-course.
I had fully forgotten to prep what I wanted to say about accountability, made a few half-notes while we discussed how our weeks had gone and then I jumped into it. I asked them to read James 5:13-6 and then we delved. And after an hour and a half, we had revealed and challenged and agreed to do worse. It was freeing but also made me feel a little gross which I think is a good thing. I think it's good that I wasn't proud of what I had shared.
I'm also elated, though, that we could agree to this. I wish we'd started sooner but, Jesus, my whole life is ahead, n'est-ce pas?
This post feels like it doesn't have a point. Oh well.
[EST]
Tuesday, 9 June 2009
I'm pretty irritated and a little scared.
I've been trying to brainstorm the starting stages of my testimony for the past two weeks and nothing inspiring comes to mind.
I've been more deliberately searching for strands in the past few days so I can begin Draft One but nothing really satisfies my worst critic.
Tonight I sat with a pen and paper and tried to remove all limits and consderations so I could simply START (and tailor afterward) but everything on the page looks weak.
I don't know what to do. And I'm pretty irritated. Where's the cork?
[EST]
I've been more deliberately searching for strands in the past few days so I can begin Draft One but nothing really satisfies my worst critic.
Tonight I sat with a pen and paper and tried to remove all limits and consderations so I could simply START (and tailor afterward) but everything on the page looks weak.
I don't know what to do. And I'm pretty irritated. Where's the cork?
[EST]
Tuesday, 2 June 2009
more opinions and new eras (erae?)
I don't think Randy Jackson's input on American Idol is helpful at all. I am saddened by this. It means that he's on the show for some other reason. I now feel its a greater crime for him to be paid to be a judge than it is for Paula Abdul who most people focus their mocking energy on.
When Justin Timberlake is on point, he is ON. When he's mediocre, he's trash. I...need to listen to that second album a few more times before I'm sure but having just heard "Where is the Love?" again, I remebered why I used to think he was the shizznit.
New era: the chance to put (hard-copy) writing into public space with strangers is approaching.
The opportunity to function as a titled administrator has befallen me. I am curious.
[EST]
When Justin Timberlake is on point, he is ON. When he's mediocre, he's trash. I...need to listen to that second album a few more times before I'm sure but having just heard "Where is the Love?" again, I remebered why I used to think he was the shizznit.
New era: the chance to put (hard-copy) writing into public space with strangers is approaching.
The opportunity to function as a titled administrator has befallen me. I am curious.
[EST]
blarg blarg blarg
Watching Susan Boyle and Hollie Steel sing and hearing the judges' reactions on "Britain's Got Talent" has started to make me feel a bit wibbley.
From Day Two, I could have told you that Susan Boyle was not that good. She's certainly better than average BUT because the expectations were so LOW people's perception was ridiculously inflated and it bothers me. I've seen that happen with other surprize contestants and Paul Potts is the quickest example that comes to mind but usually that gap (between expected and actual) closes up and the contestant is judged fairly.
Hollie Steel gets grace cos she be a little girl ...and that's fine. She's very good for a ten-year-old but she's honestly NOT that good, compared to her competitors. She should wait about five years before she does something like this. This is my opinion.
The problem now....Piers Morgan said that Susan Boyle's final performance on the show was the best they'd had on BGT EVER and....... well I just don't agree. It's fine not to agree! I'm just...it makes me uncomfortable to hear that they don't pick up on things like being flat here & there and consistently sloppy rhythm. You can say, "That was an excellent performance. Here are a few things to work on." Dude...that's what coaches be all about. I know their proper role is to judge but seriously, after the decision is taken out of their hands and given to the audience, they CAN (and, I think, should) function as coaches. Without their input, the contestants can proceed without reality checks and...I disapprove of this.
I am seriously (about 4%) starting to doubt my ability to analyze and hear music. This makes me uncomfortable.
[EST]
From Day Two, I could have told you that Susan Boyle was not that good. She's certainly better than average BUT because the expectations were so LOW people's perception was ridiculously inflated and it bothers me. I've seen that happen with other surprize contestants and Paul Potts is the quickest example that comes to mind but usually that gap (between expected and actual) closes up and the contestant is judged fairly.
Hollie Steel gets grace cos she be a little girl ...and that's fine. She's very good for a ten-year-old but she's honestly NOT that good, compared to her competitors. She should wait about five years before she does something like this. This is my opinion.
The problem now....Piers Morgan said that Susan Boyle's final performance on the show was the best they'd had on BGT EVER and....... well I just don't agree. It's fine not to agree! I'm just...it makes me uncomfortable to hear that they don't pick up on things like being flat here & there and consistently sloppy rhythm. You can say, "That was an excellent performance. Here are a few things to work on." Dude...that's what coaches be all about. I know their proper role is to judge but seriously, after the decision is taken out of their hands and given to the audience, they CAN (and, I think, should) function as coaches. Without their input, the contestants can proceed without reality checks and...I disapprove of this.
I am seriously (about 4%) starting to doubt my ability to analyze and hear music. This makes me uncomfortable.
[EST]
Monday, 1 June 2009
I have a scrap of paper in my bag
It's been there for a while and it's a list of things I was going to make into a list of fives, I think.
There were like, one or two things that I wanted to talk about but then I found four others to throw in and try to strap a theme around. Now the series is over so.... I can't just throw away the paper.
Great compliment: a friend of mine said, in response to an update letter I had mass emailed out, "You make even the most lengthiest writing unskimmable."
I really like that word. I like that it's not a real word (there's crunchy poetic irony in that) and I like that content trumped length. I try. Charles Dickens...his books are thick... "War and Peace" isn't short...if it's good, people will read it. So, I like this compliment.
I realized, walking around in a grocery store called Carousel, that there probably aren't many people who know that when I use the term "freak of nature" there is no malice or anything derogatory in it at all. I know that's hard to believe but it's true! A friend of mine...he's a dirty genius (there I go again - "dirty" is not negative) and is now working on his fourth degree. Now and then other ridiculous things come up...When he told me he bought his first house at the age of twenty I flipped out. (I think this is fantastic. I think that it's great he was prudently able to save enough and be responsible to do this. It's....awesome. I'm partly jealous.) I think I ended up calling him a "freak of nature". It's my way of saying either, "you're one of a kind," or, " you're amazing [at this particular thing]".
I'd be sad to find out that no one knows I'm impressed and not hatin' when I say that. So, if you're reading this, and I've called you this, know it wasn't bad. It flies out of my mouth without much thought ...it's a knee-jerk reaction to somethings.
I'm not ready to give it up...but if I start hurting feelings left, right and centre, I might have to.
On the same wonderful Monday, I received a surprize, gorgeous package from a gorgeous friend full of stuff I didn't need but entirely loved AS WELL AS an expected letter from a dear-to-me person that was filled with words I couldn't have predicted.
I very much appreciated that the writing was balanced: that it contained wonderfully comforting or relieving things that I couldn't ask for alongside slightly shocking truths that made me wince a bit. I read this the day after I had opened an epiphanitious (not a real word) door in my life on just this topic. I was on the threshhold of learning to allow myself to not be perfect or good at anything I tried to be good at or to be blameless. This is hard and weirdly illogical for me. But it def primed me to appreciate the words being given - which previously would have thrown me into long defenses and excuses and even retroactive correction.
And finally, another email line:
I made a request to a friend of mine that I had been debating for a few days (but really for a few weeks) and then finally bit the bullet when I decided I had nothing (substantial) to lose and would rather be able to say I at least asked.
I sent two lines:
"is there time on Monday or Thursday for a tête-a-tête? tu (Fr) e (Sp/It) Ich (Ger)?
[other person] used that phrase last Monday tête-a-tête and I can't get it out of my head."
I had debated so long because I've asked for a few tête-à-têtes before and was half-expecting to hear, "are you KIDDING me?" or maybe the equivalent of an electronic roll of the eyes. But, like I said, I had to ask.
The response came pretty quickly and was shockingly (like, out-of-character-ly) gentle: "yes. I'm not doing anything officially until this evening today. Just cleanin and packin, all things that end with 'in.
whenever you're ready. [other person] is leaving for a meeting at 2 if that makes for less awkward tete-a-tete (I don't feel like finding the accents)"
"whenever you're ready." That was the bit that got me. That's totally submissive, for lack of a better word. It's..giving deference..I think.
–noun
(I had to check.)
I felt so validated and pretty empowered as well. the initial "yes" was great, too because it was the assent first and then all the details/conditions/peripheries came next. (Order is important with things like this....with critical answers, also with apologies and with "I love you." They should not be followed by "but". "I love the guy, but..." "I love you. I don't like when you ____." Heck - in that sitchu, you shouldn't even be saying I love you, as if to temper a confrontation.)
Side rant: I decided that smaller sorries should come at the end of the sentence or after the offense is stated, not before, especially as Canadians. "Sorry" can be just another start to a sentence, like "well", "OK", or "so".
Sorry, I shouldn't have done that.
I shouldn't have done that. I'm sorry.
I don't think I can make my point very well but putting it into practice is probably the best place to notice (and feel!) the difference. It's easy to breeze past them five letters when it's the same word you throw out when you bump into someone or when you didn't hear what they said.
Yes, I think this needs to be the end of the post.
[EST]
There were like, one or two things that I wanted to talk about but then I found four others to throw in and try to strap a theme around. Now the series is over so.... I can't just throw away the paper.
Great compliment: a friend of mine said, in response to an update letter I had mass emailed out, "You make even the most lengthiest writing unskimmable."
I really like that word. I like that it's not a real word (there's crunchy poetic irony in that) and I like that content trumped length. I try. Charles Dickens...his books are thick... "War and Peace" isn't short...if it's good, people will read it. So, I like this compliment.
I realized, walking around in a grocery store called Carousel, that there probably aren't many people who know that when I use the term "freak of nature" there is no malice or anything derogatory in it at all. I know that's hard to believe but it's true! A friend of mine...he's a dirty genius (there I go again - "dirty" is not negative) and is now working on his fourth degree. Now and then other ridiculous things come up...When he told me he bought his first house at the age of twenty I flipped out. (I think this is fantastic. I think that it's great he was prudently able to save enough and be responsible to do this. It's....awesome. I'm partly jealous.) I think I ended up calling him a "freak of nature". It's my way of saying either, "you're one of a kind," or, " you're amazing [at this particular thing]".
I'd be sad to find out that no one knows I'm impressed and not hatin' when I say that. So, if you're reading this, and I've called you this, know it wasn't bad. It flies out of my mouth without much thought ...it's a knee-jerk reaction to somethings.
I'm not ready to give it up...but if I start hurting feelings left, right and centre, I might have to.
On the same wonderful Monday, I received a surprize, gorgeous package from a gorgeous friend full of stuff I didn't need but entirely loved AS WELL AS an expected letter from a dear-to-me person that was filled with words I couldn't have predicted.
I very much appreciated that the writing was balanced: that it contained wonderfully comforting or relieving things that I couldn't ask for alongside slightly shocking truths that made me wince a bit. I read this the day after I had opened an epiphanitious (not a real word) door in my life on just this topic. I was on the threshhold of learning to allow myself to not be perfect or good at anything I tried to be good at or to be blameless. This is hard and weirdly illogical for me. But it def primed me to appreciate the words being given - which previously would have thrown me into long defenses and excuses and even retroactive correction.
And finally, another email line:
I made a request to a friend of mine that I had been debating for a few days (but really for a few weeks) and then finally bit the bullet when I decided I had nothing (substantial) to lose and would rather be able to say I at least asked.
I sent two lines:
"is there time on Monday or Thursday for a tête-a-tête? tu (Fr) e (Sp/It) Ich (Ger)?
[other person] used that phrase last Monday tête-a-tête and I can't get it out of my head."
I had debated so long because I've asked for a few tête-à-têtes before and was half-expecting to hear, "are you KIDDING me?" or maybe the equivalent of an electronic roll of the eyes. But, like I said, I had to ask.
The response came pretty quickly and was shockingly (like, out-of-character-ly) gentle: "yes. I'm not doing anything officially until this evening today. Just cleanin and packin, all things that end with 'in.
whenever you're ready. [other person] is leaving for a meeting at 2 if that makes for less awkward tete-a-tete (I don't feel like finding the accents)"
"whenever you're ready." That was the bit that got me. That's totally submissive, for lack of a better word. It's..giving deference..I think.
–noun
| 1. | respectful submission or yielding to the judgment, opinion, will, etc., of another. |
| 2. | respectful or courteous regard: in deference to his wishes. |
I felt so validated and pretty empowered as well. the initial "yes" was great, too because it was the assent first and then all the details/conditions/peripheries came next. (Order is important with things like this....with critical answers, also with apologies and with "I love you." They should not be followed by "but". "I love the guy, but..." "I love you. I don't like when you ____." Heck - in that sitchu, you shouldn't even be saying I love you, as if to temper a confrontation.)
Side rant: I decided that smaller sorries should come at the end of the sentence or after the offense is stated, not before, especially as Canadians. "Sorry" can be just another start to a sentence, like "well", "OK", or "so".
Sorry, I shouldn't have done that.
I shouldn't have done that. I'm sorry.
I don't think I can make my point very well but putting it into practice is probably the best place to notice (and feel!) the difference. It's easy to breeze past them five letters when it's the same word you throw out when you bump into someone or when you didn't hear what they said.
Yes, I think this needs to be the end of the post.
[EST]
Tuesday, 26 May 2009
Five Five Things about Russia
I. What Was Unexpected
(1) That the exchange rate would be so favorable to a Canadian. (I should have known but I forgot.)
(2) That I would be OK with being without a personal bedroom. My space is communal space is workspace and I can deal.
(3) That this was not a weekend trip...
(4) That I would look forward to discipleship - especially with the specific girls I'm connected with. I made an executive decision in the initial stages that I would not doubt myself. The plan is to beg God to make me capable and then allow Him to flow. I feel strangely settled.
(5) That the vast majority of the people here would not contradict the stereotype. (In public they are very cold and have a tiny personal space bubble. The constant message is: "We don't want you here. Hurry up and go." Inside the home they are incredibly hospitable and generous. They love their sweets.)
II. What I Have Enjoyed
(1) The challenge of living in the living room.
(I accidentally co-coined the term "Couch Willie"...that's what I be.)
(2) The challenge of often being in a large group setting that is dominated by very loud, out-going and sometimes hyperactive people.
(3) Learning pieces of the language in a deliberate and meticulous fashion.
Truth be told, I do many things in a deliberate and meticulous fashion but it makes me happy to know I have mastered about 15 words and phrases ...in place of half-knowing 30. I'm OK with this but I hope to learn more soon.
(4) Finding consolation in God.
Finding that the cross is still still still powerful.
Finding joy in music.
Winning small battles against the old self.
Being completely drawn into the book of Ecclesiastes like I was drawn into the book Acts when I read it the first time five years ago.
(5) Cabbage and egg blini. MMM.
III. What Is An On-Going Challenge
(1) Identifying the old self.
(2) Committing to regularly striking up conversations with strangers on campus. (Oh, how I now not only take initiative evangelism in ENGLISH for granted no more but in FRENCH as well. Shut up - send me to Montreal. My French has never been so cohesive or confident.)
(3) Not coming up with reasons to go home.
(4) Knowing what I need and being convinced to pursue it.
(5) Being free enough with myself to happily and care-free-ly build relationships.
IV. Where the Tectonic Plates Have Been Shifting in My Life (As If I Needed More of That)
(1) On our way to London on Monday I (almost single-handedly) made our team miss the train. Long story short, this means we had to pay another £107.50 for each ticket to travel that day AND that we would arrive at our host homes 4.5 hours before we needed to be up again to hit Heathrow. This is bad. This is unacceptable and shows my true selfishness.
It took me several hours to find the courage (and humility) to apologize.
I went through such mental turmoil convincing and un-convincing myself of what I should do.
I almost cursed God for letting it happen.
I premonitioned it would happen the day before and all the day of.
The final straw was a line in a book I was reading. I was thankful for the segue (becaue it's hard to drudge up the past) and said, "You know it's bad when you get rebuked by a secular book."
Then I made a full apology. From one I heard the straightest most genuine, "thank you," I have ever heard from his mouth. From the other I heard a bit of North American verbal shrugging it off and then an, "I accept," with a playful but still sincere tone.
The things I learned about responsibility, selfishness, stewardship, respect, humility, apologies and character-shaping in that one day is just amazing. I largely hate that I had to go through it but Hebrews 12 keeps cropping up and telling me it's a blessing to be disciplined by a loving father. Painful at the time...but I whole-heartedly believe it's tru.
(2) While I wait (beg) for fantastic deposits, I overlook withdrawals but more important, I allow a friend of mine to drill holes in my Cup of Affirmation.
I consented to put an end to this,
despite,
despite,
despite. :(
It's been incredibly hard for me for reasons I can't notate right now.
I feel like I'm grieving because really, this is the end of an era and I really feel like I've lost a good friend or a shot at good friendship. I can't explain it.
(3) I have recently (almost) concluded that the major point (I don't have a better word) of this project, for me, is to do it as an act of the will.
I talked it out with a (lovely!) friend of mine the other day and I was both shocked and slightly tired out by the words that came out of my mouth.
She asked me if there was anything I was looking forward to on proj or anything I was enjoying. I said that, honestly, there was nothing. It's an incredible feat to do something like this when you have no drive for it, no joy in it and no silver linings in sight. YES, there are good moments; I'm OK with the food and shelter and I've enjoyed people. But it's hard.
It would be one thing to come straight from Canada but to go from being away to, "being supplanted again - for what? A cross??"
My mind had looked down a vast hole to see what is the root, root, root reason for me to do something like this. Why does my mouth say YES when EVERYTHING else in me, including common sense, is screaming NO?
I tried to explain how there is NOTHING from home, nothing familiar, nothing confident, nothing easy for me to hang onto. "Except that Rock that some people talk about."
I just can't believe I'm here and I have got nothing but You, Jesus.
(4) I am being forced to set boundaries that I don't want to set because they fly in the face of my toxic tendencies. My addictive comfort-food equivalents - that I think we all have (per)versions of - are being challenged and they are HARD to release. I want to go on but I'm going to choose to believe it's universal enough that no explanation is needed.
(5) In general I feel I have a diluted identity right now.
It's another reason I'm groping for the Rock. Psalm 40 has got my number. I want ...that life of faith...stability...general comfort and peace. I want to be able to stand still without being thrown about by waves and wind. I anticipate that season.
V. What I Look Forward To
(1) Being home in Canada and making a home in Guelph.
(2) Starting (back to) work with the music ministry at Crestwicke Baptist Church.
(3) Seeing my wonderful, wonderful friends again, especially the ones who have made me miss them more by talking to me while I've been away. Don't underestimate the value of being a mooring from afar.
(4) Being out of this season, triumphantly pumping my fist and saying, "YES, Jesus; YOU did all this."
(5) Rest.
[EST]
(1) That the exchange rate would be so favorable to a Canadian. (I should have known but I forgot.)
(2) That I would be OK with being without a personal bedroom. My space is communal space is workspace and I can deal.
(3) That this was not a weekend trip...
(4) That I would look forward to discipleship - especially with the specific girls I'm connected with. I made an executive decision in the initial stages that I would not doubt myself. The plan is to beg God to make me capable and then allow Him to flow. I feel strangely settled.
(5) That the vast majority of the people here would not contradict the stereotype. (In public they are very cold and have a tiny personal space bubble. The constant message is: "We don't want you here. Hurry up and go." Inside the home they are incredibly hospitable and generous. They love their sweets.)
II. What I Have Enjoyed
(1) The challenge of living in the living room.
(I accidentally co-coined the term "Couch Willie"...that's what I be.)
(2) The challenge of often being in a large group setting that is dominated by very loud, out-going and sometimes hyperactive people.
(3) Learning pieces of the language in a deliberate and meticulous fashion.
Truth be told, I do many things in a deliberate and meticulous fashion but it makes me happy to know I have mastered about 15 words and phrases ...in place of half-knowing 30. I'm OK with this but I hope to learn more soon.
(4) Finding consolation in God.
Finding that the cross is still still still powerful.
Finding joy in music.
Winning small battles against the old self.
Being completely drawn into the book of Ecclesiastes like I was drawn into the book Acts when I read it the first time five years ago.
(5) Cabbage and egg blini. MMM.
III. What Is An On-Going Challenge
(1) Identifying the old self.
(2) Committing to regularly striking up conversations with strangers on campus. (Oh, how I now not only take initiative evangelism in ENGLISH for granted no more but in FRENCH as well. Shut up - send me to Montreal. My French has never been so cohesive or confident.)
(3) Not coming up with reasons to go home.
(4) Knowing what I need and being convinced to pursue it.
(5) Being free enough with myself to happily and care-free-ly build relationships.
IV. Where the Tectonic Plates Have Been Shifting in My Life (As If I Needed More of That)
(1) On our way to London on Monday I (almost single-handedly) made our team miss the train. Long story short, this means we had to pay another £107.50 for each ticket to travel that day AND that we would arrive at our host homes 4.5 hours before we needed to be up again to hit Heathrow. This is bad. This is unacceptable and shows my true selfishness.
It took me several hours to find the courage (and humility) to apologize.
I went through such mental turmoil convincing and un-convincing myself of what I should do.
I almost cursed God for letting it happen.
I premonitioned it would happen the day before and all the day of.
The final straw was a line in a book I was reading. I was thankful for the segue (becaue it's hard to drudge up the past) and said, "You know it's bad when you get rebuked by a secular book."
Then I made a full apology. From one I heard the straightest most genuine, "thank you," I have ever heard from his mouth. From the other I heard a bit of North American verbal shrugging it off and then an, "I accept," with a playful but still sincere tone.
The things I learned about responsibility, selfishness, stewardship, respect, humility, apologies and character-shaping in that one day is just amazing. I largely hate that I had to go through it but Hebrews 12 keeps cropping up and telling me it's a blessing to be disciplined by a loving father. Painful at the time...but I whole-heartedly believe it's tru.
(2) While I wait (beg) for fantastic deposits, I overlook withdrawals but more important, I allow a friend of mine to drill holes in my Cup of Affirmation.
I consented to put an end to this,
despite,
despite,
despite. :(
It's been incredibly hard for me for reasons I can't notate right now.
I feel like I'm grieving because really, this is the end of an era and I really feel like I've lost a good friend or a shot at good friendship. I can't explain it.
(3) I have recently (almost) concluded that the major point (I don't have a better word) of this project, for me, is to do it as an act of the will.
I talked it out with a (lovely!) friend of mine the other day and I was both shocked and slightly tired out by the words that came out of my mouth.
She asked me if there was anything I was looking forward to on proj or anything I was enjoying. I said that, honestly, there was nothing. It's an incredible feat to do something like this when you have no drive for it, no joy in it and no silver linings in sight. YES, there are good moments; I'm OK with the food and shelter and I've enjoyed people. But it's hard.
It would be one thing to come straight from Canada but to go from being away to, "being supplanted again - for what? A cross??"
My mind had looked down a vast hole to see what is the root, root, root reason for me to do something like this. Why does my mouth say YES when EVERYTHING else in me, including common sense, is screaming NO?
I tried to explain how there is NOTHING from home, nothing familiar, nothing confident, nothing easy for me to hang onto. "Except that Rock that some people talk about."
I just can't believe I'm here and I have got nothing but You, Jesus.
(4) I am being forced to set boundaries that I don't want to set because they fly in the face of my toxic tendencies. My addictive comfort-food equivalents - that I think we all have (per)versions of - are being challenged and they are HARD to release. I want to go on but I'm going to choose to believe it's universal enough that no explanation is needed.
(5) In general I feel I have a diluted identity right now.
It's another reason I'm groping for the Rock. Psalm 40 has got my number. I want ...that life of faith...stability...general comfort and peace. I want to be able to stand still without being thrown about by waves and wind. I anticipate that season.
V. What I Look Forward To
(1) Being home in Canada and making a home in Guelph.
(2) Starting (back to) work with the music ministry at Crestwicke Baptist Church.
(3) Seeing my wonderful, wonderful friends again, especially the ones who have made me miss them more by talking to me while I've been away. Don't underestimate the value of being a mooring from afar.
(4) Being out of this season, triumphantly pumping my fist and saying, "YES, Jesus; YOU did all this."
(5) Rest.
[EST]
Sunday, 10 May 2009
Five Surprizes of 9th May
Unfortunately, if list these in chronological order, I will end on a negative note but I guess that's OK.
1) I was woken at 8.22 am by a call from a dear friend in Nairobi, Kenya. Woo!
She had excellent timing and GOD TAKES CARE, is all I can say. WOW, what an excellent start to a day...to feel so loved. (38)
2) I read a wonderful email from a friend back home that had a piece of insight I've never heard about myself. She sounded Holy Spirit-ly convinced so I believed her. It was supremely encouraging. (39)
3) I read a Facebook message (...is that the first time I've used the word Facebook on the blog? that feels weird..) that said my moms got some kick-back from the courts which means my sibs and I get some kick-back from her. It's nice to have unexpected income. I feel this is also part of God taking care. (40)
4) I managed to make a breakfast/brunch like my Dad used to (he still could but doesn't) and after 45 minutes of cooking I walked out of the kitchen for something. When I came back, the smell was a distinct reminder of my childhood & teenage years which was VERY heart-warming. (41) Oh, yes.
5) For the first time since I can remember, I played Euchre out of obligation. Also, I didn't enjoy myself. :| What's that all about??? I'm scared. I hope this doesn't signify the end of an era. I think I disliked the game because of who I was playing with which is another story I wish I could get into but I really dislike the tale. Yeah. :(
[EST]
1) I was woken at 8.22 am by a call from a dear friend in Nairobi, Kenya. Woo!
She had excellent timing and GOD TAKES CARE, is all I can say. WOW, what an excellent start to a day...to feel so loved. (38)
2) I read a wonderful email from a friend back home that had a piece of insight I've never heard about myself. She sounded Holy Spirit-ly convinced so I believed her. It was supremely encouraging. (39)
3) I read a Facebook message (...is that the first time I've used the word Facebook on the blog? that feels weird..) that said my moms got some kick-back from the courts which means my sibs and I get some kick-back from her. It's nice to have unexpected income. I feel this is also part of God taking care. (40)
4) I managed to make a breakfast/brunch like my Dad used to (he still could but doesn't) and after 45 minutes of cooking I walked out of the kitchen for something. When I came back, the smell was a distinct reminder of my childhood & teenage years which was VERY heart-warming. (41) Oh, yes.
5) For the first time since I can remember, I played Euchre out of obligation. Also, I didn't enjoy myself. :| What's that all about??? I'm scared. I hope this doesn't signify the end of an era. I think I disliked the game because of who I was playing with which is another story I wish I could get into but I really dislike the tale. Yeah. :(
[EST]
Sunday, 3 May 2009
Five Decisions
1) I decided that the most hideous defense argument in existence is, "She was asking for it."
2) I decided that I am so fascinated by the art of quick-changing that I don't want to see the YouTube videos on how it's done. (Like REALLY never want to have the secret revealed to me.)
3) I decided that worried glances, exchanged, help nothing.
4) I decided to make a proper carving out of my income for accomodating/hosting/serving. Today I did it twice - one unintentionally and the other inadvertently - and though it stung the wallet a little I love the fruit. So, I will add it to my budget proppa style.
5) I decided that there are worse things to do than miss church because you are painfully tired and want to crawl into a bucket and Satan shouldn't be able to hold me down for it. Seriously. There are WORSE things.
...totes forgot about the list list. oops.
[EST]
2) I decided that I am so fascinated by the art of quick-changing that I don't want to see the YouTube videos on how it's done. (Like REALLY never want to have the secret revealed to me.)
3) I decided that worried glances, exchanged, help nothing.
4) I decided to make a proper carving out of my income for accomodating/hosting/serving. Today I did it twice - one unintentionally and the other inadvertently - and though it stung the wallet a little I love the fruit. So, I will add it to my budget proppa style.
5) I decided that there are worse things to do than miss church because you are painfully tired and want to crawl into a bucket and Satan shouldn't be able to hold me down for it. Seriously. There are WORSE things.
...totes forgot about the list list. oops.
[EST]
Friday, 1 May 2009
hyena
I didn't get Gladiator (2000) until this time I'm watching it now. I think this is the third time I've seen it. I would have watched it way back at its release date and all the other times I could have watched it in the past ten years I declined for some weird reason. I now know it's the same reason I have a hard time with Star Wars and other action flicks like Bond, Bourne & Ethan Hunt.
Turns out that if you pay HARD CORE attention, things will make sense to you. Yes, that is what I discovered in chapter eleven of a thirteen-chapter book. That paying attention often leads you to understand things that are being presented. Yes.
Yes, I now see why Gladiatrix was so heralded. Until now I've thought it was one of those films that people said was awesome and raved about foreva-eva...but now I get it. One ofmy initial thoughts was that it's Shakespeare-ish...but now I'm thinking that Shakespeare wrote his stuff to be universal...so of course I could see it in another story.
Now I want Maximus' story to be like Joseph, son of Jacob. And I am reminded of The Mummy (1999), as well. Let's keep watching! (I'm excited.)
[EST]
Turns out that if you pay HARD CORE attention, things will make sense to you. Yes, that is what I discovered in chapter eleven of a thirteen-chapter book. That paying attention often leads you to understand things that are being presented. Yes.
Yes, I now see why Gladiatrix was so heralded. Until now I've thought it was one of those films that people said was awesome and raved about foreva-eva...but now I get it. One ofmy initial thoughts was that it's Shakespeare-ish...but now I'm thinking that Shakespeare wrote his stuff to be universal...so of course I could see it in another story.
Now I want Maximus' story to be like Joseph, son of Jacob. And I am reminded of The Mummy (1999), as well. Let's keep watching! (I'm excited.)
[EST]
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