Friday night

I feel like I want to write something about this evening but I do not know what to say. There's too much to say. I enjoyed myself and I enjoyed this final day of classes in the 2005-2006 school year.

I saw an old friend this evening and interacting with her was something else in a handbasket. I am utterly amazed: how can I not talk to you for almost EXACTLY one year and when we see one another it's as if we spoke last week.

I am being sincere here: it was disgusting. I was too shocked to even notice. Crazy, crazy, crazy and I love it. I suppose it helps that we have a mutual friend who we both see quite often. Nonetheless this and she were one of my highlights of the evening.

For the record, it was the Campus Crusade for Christ final banquet and there was a general air of positivity running rampant through the night. I like that. I like seeing people be happy solely to be with people. I like talking to brilliant minds who listen and challenge. I like genuine smiles in pictures. I like genuine people. I like Rebecca Napier. (ha! she's going to be the only one who gets her proper name in here and she doesn't even read my blog.) I like well-chosen dresses and smart suits. I love the cycle of thank-yous. I like walking around and seeing that most people are not intimidated by me (this is rare). I like the piano, I love great pianists and appreciate mad violinists. I like the Greek letter delta, as a side note. I like how a little bit of short-lived uncertainty in a creepy act can make it funnier. It's the what the heck? moment that dies with the end of the question. ha

I learned some things this evening. I had a good conversation with someone I usually try to avoid talking to because of personality clashes (I think this is the reason). I suppose it helped that we talked about something bigger than ourselves and I was very close to enjoying the conversation.

I heard something this evening that I decided to take seriously and it was a strange paradigm shift. They said, "We don't mean this, even if that's what it sounds like, even if that's what history and sociology have taught. We mean this instead: believe it." And I suspended doubt to say, Hey, let it be true, and that was a good moment for me. I need to do this more often. I am more skeptical than I admit to. It bothers me that I cannot post on this blog the way I once did - no matter how hard I try - since the start of this semester when a handful of people joined my readership.

I believe in honesty, transperency, sincerity and freedom of expression. I believe in being real, perhaps more than the others.

I hope my friend wins some hot-dogs before the Winter semester officially ends and I will do my best to cheat the system in submitting crosswords in his name to see that goal be realized.

Lastly, I will add that I like Fish and what is most fascinating about this is that I do not know why. There are no oustanding characteristics that make me say, "Yes! I LOVE that!" It is the generally appealing nature of the Fish. Maybe that sentence was too vague to be accurate. If I remember when I met you and when our friendship took a step to the next level, the relationship will most likely not grow very close or last very long. However, if I cannot pinpoint any pivotal moments in our history, you are definitely a keeper. Fish, I honestly do not remember the first meeting, the first mayo moment, the first I-respect-you moment, the first laugh, the day inhibitions went away, the first time I got your telephone number, the first house visit, the first time I truly cared about what was going on in your life or the day I realized I could be myself with you. Retrospectively, I see you coming out of nowheres, some kind of unobtrusive, immovable presence. I know that sounds awkward. What's more, I am picturing a three-dimensional cone to represent you. The end of the story is that, even though I be a vegan, I love Fish. Amen to that.