-when girls tell me to do something that is impractical but pretty in a very non-diplomatic unfeeling way.
I think they think that I should obviously see it their way and that there's no reason I'd take issue with their "suggestion".
I didn't handle it very well today. I made a weird face when it first came out and then I fell silent for a while. As I brooded and tried to figure what would be a good way to bring it up (like an, "I don't like it when you say these things becase [dot, dot, dot]"), an unrelated topic of conversation gave me an in to make a not-joke about it.
[I'm not a fan of not-jokes. I'm not a fan of them as means to say something serious while trying to spare feelings and without needing a backbone. Ugh.]
I kinda wish I hadn't done it. But, through all our laughs, she said knowingly, "I heard that," and I wasn't at first sure if she meant, "I read betwixt yer lines," or, "I picked up on that snide jab."
She later apologized. And I didn't handle that very well either. I think I was still in shock.
(I have no actual excuse.) On the other hand, she didn't seem to get it because the same comment came up not too many minutes later but with different language. :
Blech. I hate pretty things, I do. And it's not for the reason you think.
I guess I just really hate being forced to defend myself that I am REALLY VERY MUCH OK WITH. Don't read me as being in denial or having some kind of crippling addiction. There are just some things....I really like it and it works for me and I chose it...and you're telling me to change it. :(
I guess I'm taking that a step further to where you not liking my choice or my add-ons means, indirectly, you don't approve of my taste. Mmmm no matter how you slice it, I take it personally.
The worst part, I suppose, is that I don't know how to argue back. I'm rarely heard. It's...I'm so different. I'm so different from other people ESPECIALLY your typical girl...that I'm speaking complete gibberish when I try to defend myself. Aie... it really tears me down in a bad way.
[EST]
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4 comments:
Hey.
I wrote something and then erased it.
But thanks for putting this out there.
Hey. I would like to read it. Can you send it to me in a secret message?
I don't remember anymore...I find I never have the right words and especially when I'm typing them.
Oh, sad. Well, since these comments come to me for approval first anyways, I guess it kinda is like I'm getting a secret message...we should probably start a club. If you've got any secret new club news..just let me know.
Oh and the implication is that I don't publish the comments...I feel that the Internet is failing me here where you can't hear the tone of my voice. Oh well. Maybe you're psychic. Shoot, I need sleep.
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