the final countdown: 5, 4

Monday, 3rd September.

-[I saw Emily on Monday but I didn't tell her.  It didn't seem to come up naturally and when I just volunteer the information out of the blue it's like I'm asking her to miss me.  It's weird.  I want to say something because I want to say a kind of goodbye before I just disappear.  She and I have had a lot of fun.  She usually comes in around 8pm to run a couple hundred dollars worth of lottery tickets.  She borrows my pen and fills out the slips on the counter to the left while I alternate between serving other customers and chatting with her.  It doesn't make sense to let her hold up the line for forty minutes and I'm so happy SHE is the one who volunteers to just stay off to the side.  Works out OK for her as I can process her slips in small stacks at a time so when she's done and packing up, she barely has to wait for me at all.  She's a really sweet lady.  Paid me one of the most amazing compliments of my life once.  Great.

Anyhoop, even if I don't get a goodbye at my workplace, I know she's an owner of a shop in town that I could turn up in, so all is well.]

-Hmm.  Forgot I had written about the Redwood guy last time.  On this day I had the opp to sidle up to him while he was using the ATM.  It's weird... it's weird going out of your way like that.  I guess the idea is that I wish that we could become friends or something.  I think I want to "goodbye" the people that I would like to be real-life friends with; that I would like to have a continued connection with.

Anyhow, thankfully he wasn't fazed by my sidling.  I think I fumbled something like, "So I..... just wanted to say that I gave my two weeks' notice last week and so this might be the last time I see you."  (I did say some kind of "hello" or "what's up?" first, though.)  I got to this point with a few other people and felt the same mild panic that says I wish I had planned a more personalised farewell.  Like, if I were leaving a city/province/country and saying goodbye to my proper friends, it wouldn't be the same formulaic conversation for all of them.  I would have things to say to each individual.  But...these are customers ("customers") so how much can I really say?

To my relief he responded quickly asking, "You quit?!  Why??"

I explained and with less intensity he said, "That'll suit your personality. Still in Guelph?" and I told him yes.  We concluded that we might see one another before my last day and that we might see one another around the city.  He could be right.  So neat.


-[These guys get to be called the Jason twins.  The ice was broken by my mocking them once and I try to keep it up.  One is much more talkative but engages less with me and the other is less talkative but far more acutely aware of me.

On Monday they both had the name "Jason" written on their uniforms.

I goggled.  "Are you actually both named Jason?" and they laughed like someone else had fallen for their practical joke of the day.

But no, apparently the real Jason (the less talkative one) had lent his spare uniform to his coworker.  The coworker said that he tried to rip the name tag off but Jason wouldn't let him.  (Awesome.)  Then, probably because I laughed, he added, "If it was my real name I'd rip my head off." I find stuff like that extraordinarily funny.  I love it when I get to have real laughter at work.

I am going to miss having multiple customers at a time (almost always males) who take the mick out of one another.]


Tuesday, 4th September.

-[Because I'm leaving I thought I should seize the opp to tell one pseudo-regular that he looks like Jose Bautista.  Because he was not in a rush and because he was paying by debit, I asked if anyone had ever told him he looked like the right fielder.  He laughed quite a bit, was shocked and then informed me that no one had ever pointed out the similarity.  I insisted that every time I see him I have to do a double-take.

He said, "I certainly can't hit like him," which was a delightful surprise.  I don't meet too, too many Jays fans that can talk details and I understand that Bautista is well-known as a slugger but this customer had things to say about the whole roster.

I agreed that, "No one can really hit like him," and we talked about his injury, other injuries and the whole season.  It was neat because if I were staying we would have had a great springboard into increasingly deeper/more meaningful conversations because of such a successful breaking of ice.  Then again, I don't know the future so maybe the springboard will be used.]


-I told Linda from Tims that I was leaving.  I like her.  We get on fine.  She likes to rib me about various things and I like to smartmouth her about anything I can.  She's sweet.  She's def someone I'd come back to visit.

She wasn't too surprised ..but the conversation ended abruptly and awkwardly because my (female) boss from twelve feet away answered Linda's question about where I was going even though we were speaking in low tones. This bothers me a) because of the eavesdroppage and b) because I didn't tell my boss where I was going.  Sigh.  I don't need that.


-Two customers my (female) boss likes to call Heckle & Jeckle were in today much to my surprise.  They used to be in like clockwork every day at 12.36 to buy energy drinks but then they stopped for weeks and months which I respect.

On Tuesday, 12.36 came and went so I expected them not.  Tuesday is the most likely time I'll see them and Friday is second.  But then nearer to one o'clock, they walked in and I set to composing myself while they headed to the fridge.  (Sometimes I get nervous/stupid around them.)  I felt more confident on this day, though, because I don't need to impress them; I'm leaving so I should just be myself.

We said our hellos and typical dumb comments (there's always dumb comments coming from one or both sides) and then I told them the scenario while I was checking Cole's lottery ticket.  (He's never brought in any tickets so I was quite glad for something that would extend their stay.)

Darryl exploded with, "WHAT?  Why??  You can't leave.  Where are you going?"

Because he asked so many in a row I had time for three separate reactions before I spoke.  At first I wanted to laugh because the barrage sounded childish.  Then I was shocked that he even had to ask why I'd want to leave a job like that.  (LET'S BE SERIOUS.)  But finally, my inner teenager kicked in and claimed some rights.

"Well.... it's my life..." is what I think I said.  He immediately backed off in a comical way and said, "Good point."


His indignation wasn't put on which I just don't understand.  I cashed Cole out and while he headed to Tims, Darryl stayed to re-ask me where I was going but in a more sensible manner.  I told him and he immediately changed demeanor, now wondering if he could hire me, too.  I harped on his choice of words (because he didn't say "hire") and then had to correct him two more times - now in front of another, amused customer - and then, satisfied, I asked if he was serious.  I thought he may have just liked the idea but not thought it through.

Lunch time is very busy for me so we didn't get too far before Cole was ready to leave.  He said he'll come in next Tuesday to really hash things out.  It probably won't work out but it would SUPER cool if it did.  The more acquaintances I can make the leap with, the more chuffed I am.  So far it's just eight people but I think there are a few more people with whom the transfer could work.


-Shaney-Shane would be one of those people.  I know he likes me and he knows the feeling is mutual but I think he'd be the toughest sell of all.

When I told him I had quit, his first response was, "I bet they're thrilled about that..."  If I really understood how he was joking or what he meant, I might find that funnier.  I brushed it off because that's what I do.  He was headed to his Dodge pick-up and I was headed to Dispenser 12 to change the paper before I headed home.  We often walk out of the building at the same time because my shift has just finished and his shift starts less than an hour later.

He did what I don't remember him doing before which was prolonging the conversation after I had already walked away.  He asked where I was going.  I told him I was thinking of taking up welding [because sometimes I make jokes to mask delight] because he is a welder and I was making fun of him.  He smiled and asked if I thought I could hack it.

I had walked back toward him and was now leaning on the passenger's side of the hood of his car as I told him what the job actually was.  It was surreal on two counts: he just doesn't stay to talk to me once we're outside AND he was telling me how wrong my assumption was that he doesn't like children.  Once or thrice we've talked at length while inside but only when it's about his work or machines or something he's caught off-guard by.  But, there's no way he'll communicate he gives a hoot about me or about talking to me once we're outside.  Unprecedented. 

And as to him not disliking children (he actually said, "I love kids.  I used to volunteer at a daycare") I have no words now and had no words at the time.  I only nodded in shock and said, "OK."  I regret not saying what I was thinking because he was actually willing to stay and talk.  I hate missing opportunities like that.  I was kicking myself for the rest of the day.

But, I've been praying lately that I'll have the chance to say goodbye AND a chance to share the Gospel with him so I have high hopes for next week.  I can't imagine us getting to any significant place of trust and openness by next Tuesday that the Gospel would actually show up but you just never know.  You never know.  I pray for him every time I put his Belmont Regulars on the shelf while I'm stocking cigarettes once or twice per shift.  I'm hopeful.

Whether I get the chance to share next week or not, I'm going to try to fanagle the transition to real-world acquaintances which makes the likelihood of Gospel opps increase drastically.  I have hope.  I really care about Shane a.k.a. Squidward a.k.a. Miserable Shane but he's delicate so I'm trying to prepare myself for Tuesday really being the end.  It'd be OK.