hockey & I

It started around 1993 when my mother got my sister, brother and I into watching the playoffs because she's a life-long Habs fan. It was pretty exciting to watch the team that you were rooting for win the Cup. Let's not discuss the fact that I didn't fully know what was going on... being 8 years old and all.

Between that time and my first year of high school, I called myself a Habs fan and relished the idea of smack-talking anyone who rooted for a different team, especially - of course - the Maple Leafs. I remember, in grade school, whenz my mother would come to pick us up from the after-school care programmy thing, she would banter with the care-takers because they were all Leaf fans. I guess that's where I got it from. The only line I specifically remember her saying was in context of an up-coming TOR/MTL game: "I think I saw some tissues on sale at Shopper's Drug Mart. You might want to pick some up before the game," implying, I believe, that many tears would be shed. (A-ha-ha-ha.)

Hm.. in first year, I didn't talk to many people, not even my roommates. I didn't do much school work and... well, I passed the time with a special collection of oddities. One thing I did was fill up my evenings with Bible studies/small groups (3) and large-group Christian weekly meetings (2) so that, Monday to Friday, I had somewheres to be. I didn't really feel lonely or desire to befriend more peeps, I just kinda went about my business. One of my other favorite obsessions was the good ol' NHL. I could show you the notes, scrapbooks, magazines and other random (useless?) stuff I compiled in that first year (and a few years since). You would see how meticulous and relentless I was. I watched all the games I could, always giving up 6 hours for the Saturday double-headers. In this region of Canada, the games aired most often (on basic cable) were the Leafs games. Thus began my journey out of Quebec.

I started to really take to it, memorizing stats & jersey numbers, celebrating hat-tricks..

It even got into my schoolwork, just a little bit. For a composition in one of my musicianship classes, I used the names of the top twenty all-time goal scorers as my lyrics. (It was a spoken/rhythm piece so it made sense. Think about it... Ro-ba-taille, An-dre-chuk, Ste-vie Y... Robataille was two sixteenth notes & one eighth, Andreychuk was three triplets and Stevie Y the same as Rob. Greeee-tzkyyyy was a chanting, two-quarter-note deal and so forth... yes.)

During the playoffs that year, I remember yelling at people on campus (just a few), if they wore a jersey of a team who was still in, the name of the opposing team. "GO PHOENIX!" Wait... does Phoenix even know what playoffs are?... hmmm...I know there's one guy on campus who wears a Coyote's jersey every now and then. (Just one guy.)

After that year was over, the next September, I signed a contract with eternity and in the weeks and months to follow, my fetish began to dwindle. I hardly noticed at first until one day it hit me that I was filling my time because (a) I really did not have that many friends and (b) I needed something to distract me from life.

I dunno... sometimes I feel bad that I don't know who Kyle Wellwood is or how many times we've beaten Ottawa this season. Honestly, I feel like an overly sentimental (clingy?) parent of kids who have moved out and grown into real adults. The Leafs I think of (the ones I "know and love") are the 2002-2003 team. I think of Shane Corson, Tie Domi, Tucker (of course), Antropov, Belak, Green, Kaberle, Mogilny, Campbell's-soup Sundin who looks like he's smiling when he's wincing and trying to catch his breath (creepy!) and I even have a hard time re-assigning the numbers in my head. I mean #6 will always be Aki Berg, I think, and #24 McCabe. Wait - he still plays, doesn't he? Either way, I have a screwed up and seemingly permanent memory that refuses to change with the times.

I can't seem to get back into it (though I've all but stopped trying) because really, that void is filled. Hmmm.

There was meant to be more to this story but I'm drawing a blank.

There was a time when I had to stop dead in my tracks, walking back to rez on an asphalt path late one night. The way the ground had formed its well-trodden sections made me see a cracked shape that looked EXACTLY like the Minnesota Wild's logo. I guess it's a ... bear's...head...? It's some kind of animal head's profile, looking left. I was proud of myself in that moment, having hockey so officially on the brain.

I also did prop up a pillow of mine with a hockey skate (because it was too stinkin flat and apparently I'm picky about head elevation) and dream the entire night about the sport. I thought that was cool though I will admit it was probably not as mysteriously subconscious as I would like to pretend. Mmfp.