Sunday, 16 September 2007

be my moon

I saw a guy I know on Friday. We had a class together in the Fall 2006 semester and have run into one another a handful of times since then but that's about it.
He's one of those people who I see by accident, have messaged a few times on Facebook (but not added as a friend) and who, if he had graduated and left the school after last semester, I would have called a great "single-serving friend"*.
I really do enjoy his company... He's such a strange and unique character. Also the way that we met is kinda funny.
I think that if I was "cooler" - especially if we both were in high school - then we could have been real friends. He's just too.... out there for me.
If I was into parallel universes, I could say that my non-saved alterego and this guy definitely would have had a one-night stand by now. But there wouldn't have ever been more.
I wonder what that says about our acquaintanceship.

* This term is brought to you courtesy of Tyler Durden.

Saturday, 15 September 2007

17 x 3 = 51

yesterday I would have written, today I am thankful for: His faithfulness

today I would write that I am thankful for: being slowly re-instated or re-introduced or re-welcomed into some semblance of my old life.
I'm really very happy to have been issued a 2007-2008 U of G day planner.
I'm also happy that I may be allowed to lead a discipleship group this semester/year. I thought I didn't want to and I thought I wasn't allowed to (cuz the person in charge who I talked to thought I was gradumatated) but it is all looking possible. It's also looking like I may actually be READY to lead.
I need to stop claiming to know things and start being apt to learn. Leadership really is a service.

"Fine. But if my supe chews me out.. giv'n'm your digits." I just heard that on TV. It's ridickle the way we speak. "Fine. But if my supervisor reprimands me, I will give him your telephone number." Crazy. (That guy was trying too hard, anyways.)


1. .. .. 2. II 3. .. .. .. II 4. .3 .2 .1 II .. .. .. .. II
1. .. .. 2. II 7. .. .. .. II 3. .. 4. .. II 5. .. .. .1010 II
10-99 9-77 7-55 5-1010 II 10-99 9-77 7-55 5. II
1. 2. 3. 4. II 5. 6. b7. 8. II 9. 10. 9. 10. II 9. .. ..

Thursday, 13 September 2007

Le Bureau

I started watching what I can only guess is a new episode of The Office today and I couldn't get past 20 minutes of it.
I don't know what it is...
I've seen snippits before, mostly things that people make me watch and I've grasped the comedic genius (and the appeal) - I really have! But now that I made myself sit down and try to get through a full hour I'm like, "Mmmm not so much."
I'll give it another try but for now I'm kinda disappointed. The mystery is gone, I think.



Actually, I think the problem is that they're telling the same joke, over and over, every five minutes, every episode. I dunno... Part of me wishes I could like it but.. you just can't force crap like this.

Saturday, 8 September 2007

I hope "Hebraic" is a real word

A. "He wanted to be more Jewish, but he didn't know where to start. With Hebrew? With Yiddish? Dr. Feinberg didn't want to go through the remainder of his life full of burdens and lies."

B. "I rarely swear outside the occassional damn or hell, considering swearing a lazy form of expression."

C. "You never know when death will hit."
"No, we don't. And that's why we shouldn't live in fear of it."


a. I've come across many instances of religiousness recently, and unfortunately can't recollect them all right now but I do remember that each has evoked a deeper response than normal. I mean, yea, "religion" always evokes a response from me, gutteral, angered, saddened or sometimes inquisitive - always too soon and rarely handled well. I know this. I know this about myself. I know that my sensitivity to the subject is high and that my reactions are explosive (it could still be a controlled explosion) but recently it's been different. I'm not quite sure how to explain it. I think the best way I could characterize it for now is a feeling of being beaten. It's like exhaustion and surrender; what you feel when your 5-page paper vanishes from your hard drive and you know it's due in 6 hours. It's that kinda, This again?! I can't do this anymore... but you know you will do it again. It reminds me of that great scene in The Mummy Returns when the magi finish off a wave of mummy/zombie types and have their victorious celebration interrupted by the second wave (10 times as large as the first) approaching over the dunes. Sheer numbers would have guaranteed the magi's failure but the mummies' kamikaze automaton (and able-to-move-limbs-post-mortem) ways make the feat even worse. The magi swallowed hard and readied themselves, knowing what was going to happen. That kind of bravery and resilience I know nothing about.

b. It's true. I remember thinking/realizing this WAY back in the day... I guess, around the time I was 16 or 17. I remember telling someone that swearing is a way to "color" your sentences or your language. What's funny is that I can't remember if I was saying this to someone as a reason they shouldn't swear or as an excuse for me to swear. I dunno...somtimes it's lazy - it becomes like a crutch - and sometimes it just makes an excellent point.

c. Sounds like a trusay to me. I mean, I think I can take it in the context of Christ's second coming and that makes total sense.
Recently, a friend of mine told me how a pastor she heard preached about how no one knows the hour of Christ's return for most of his sermon but at the end said that it was his personal opinion (a word carefully chosen, I'm sure) that Christ would come in three to five years. (Everytime I say that I think of prison time.) It's more than a little bogus, to make a claim like that. God's declarations about the end of the world are not meant to be so cryptic that only the most astute or privileged will figure out the precise time. He's not really into favoritism. (As my other friend in the conversation aptly pointed out, No one knows, not even the Son. Anyone who claims to be greater thatn He is not getting it.) The point was that we need to be on our toes. "But understand this: If the owner of the house had known at what time of night the thief was coming, he would have kept watch and would not have let his house be broken into."* Dude - you could spend your whole life guarding your house. But then it'd be taken away from you anyways because you couldn't pay the bills and the government be repossessing it. In terms of the quote above, your best bet is probably to realize that what is seen is tempoary and what is unseen is eternal and then to continue living your life. In terms of what Jesus was talking about, our best bet is to work toward being ready to go at any given moment. I would pack my everything bag and leave it by the door like an expectant father. I'd like to always be able to say I have no regrets and no unfinished business but, thanks to God's grace, I still have time to get there.


a) Steinfeld, J. J. "Disfigurement of the Spirit." Anton Chekhov was Never in Charlottetown. Wolfville, NS: Gaspereau Press, 2000. 55.
b) Steinfeld, J. J. "Inflatable Dolls." Anton Chekhov was Never in Charlottetown. Wolfville, NS: Gaspereau Press, 2000. 89.
c) "High Octane." CSI: Miami. A&E. [ ], Toronto. 6 November, 2006.
*Matthew 24:43

Wednesday, 5 September 2007

Gearin' up for Easter

So what might it be like to be part of a long line of... blacksmiths, or ... butchers? I guess there aren't many blacksmiths in my part of the world anymore and butchers aren't so well valued as they once were. But there are still hereditary careers today, for SURE, more so in certain situations. The type of job is a big factor and I think nationality or culture also makes you rmore or less likely to "follow in the footsteps of _______". I'm not really part of that; I don't have those factors in my favor and I'm not sad about it or anything. I mean I know it's all too possible that I could end up being very miserable on account of being forced into work I don't like OR disowned for resisting. But I do like the idea. Pride of the family...something, something. I dunno. I guess I just like that extra something... I'm thinking of Carrots of the Pirebbean and Lord of the Rings since somehow they both incorporate this concept. I guess I'm just jealous of olde ways and simpler times.

Monday, 3 September 2007

reasons you are jealous of my bodacious ways:

#2


French Vanilla (by Breyers), strawbees and crumbled homemade Betty Crocker double-chocolate cookies.
mm!

Sunday, 2 September 2007

2 things I realized today

Number One: I don't want to ever be stabbed (or even stabbed to death) though I once thought I could handle it.
Number Two: The term "supermarket" really is a compound word.
This morning, my pastor was talking about buying peaches at the market.. and in my head I was like, "No one goes to the market," and I think he thought something similar because he soon corrected himself: "At-at the supermarket..." and I thought whoa...
Super+market... it's a market (like non-corporate vendors bringing crops or crafts from their very homes which is nice but not overly convenient or diverse in most situations, especially to a big-headed big-city-er like me) but it's super. The information superhighway.. supernatural..superscript...superlative... it's like a market but larger..like 20 markets put together with longer hours and colder representatives.... It's like the Farmer's Market got Industrial Revolutionized. Hearing the term in two parts was such a weird and unsettling moment for me. Ha.. it was like when my friend said, "airport" right after, "sea port" and me and another girl in the room were like, "Ahhhhh.."

Saturday, 1 September 2007

Lifehouse's Everything Skit

Well, this post was deleted by accident (it's because embedded YouTube videos tend to mess a lot of things up) so what I remember writing is that my prevalent feeling after watching the video was that I was wasting my life. What was worse is that I didn't even have my own life anymore. I was wasting the life that cost a lot to sacrifice. There was more and I wish I knew it but I don't so here's to letting things go.

http://youtube.com/watch?v=cyheJ480LYA

Wednesday, 29 August 2007

declarable ______

So today has definitely been a bitter-sweet day.

Monday, 27 August 2007

two:

--random Colbert quote I found but can't recollect the context for: "I've already started training sleeping outside Wal-Mart and trampling and old ladies."

(He must have been excited for some new something to come out in les stores...)

--random quote I cribbed from a cartoon that was marginally funny: "My barbecue comes with a little kick. Especially if you insult my cooking."

"Crabby Road" 03/07/06 (c) Hallmark Licensing, Inc.
maxine.com

Sunday, 26 August 2007

"Bridling the Beast in Your Body - Part 1"

This morning when I read that the sermon was on James 3 and had the above title I had this kind of I'ma-git-beat internal quake. I was never beat as a child but it's that same feeling. It's like the being-called-to-the-principal's-office impending doom. Impending doom is the one I'm thinking of.

(I was a-scared because I've been cussing a lot lately.. and the weirdest part is that I don't feel guilty or otherwise "bad" about it. I know one of the reasons I don't feel badly is that a friend of mine, who is strong in the Lord, and had a very similar struggle with the cussage to what I had during that first half-year of our walks with God. Straight out of the world into the Kingdom of Light... it's not easy. It's not easy. All I know is this warm, floaty, water bed-ish, womb with free food and room to kick back and then BOOM! somebuddy be pulling me by the head out into cold and noise and bright lights and atmosphere..... It's a big deal. But it's better that I left, of course. Gross analogy. She was at my house the other week and, in anger, she dropped three f-bombs in a period of about 5 minutes. I was shock shock shocked for a while and told myself to hold onto that tongue instead of jumping on the band-wagon real quick like. I don't know what happened between then - last last Friday - and now but I've been.... letting them slip. A friend of mine was caught between a slow right lane-r and a last-minute left turn-er which left her to slam on the breaks and gasp, "F---!" She laughed in shock at herself.. was kinda confused about how it had slipped out and kept driving. I was looking down at the time of the incident, eatin ma salad, but I heard the cuss and felt the lurch so I took my opportunity: "What the f--- is wrong with you, you f---ing f---face?" She gasps and laughs a little more: "You almost made my spill my f---ing salad, you asshole." I did it mostly for comedic value but it is an addictive behavior, I can't lie about that.)

It turns out the Pastor was only preaching on verses 1 and 2: Not many of you should presume to be teachers, my brothers, because you know that we who teach will be judged more harshly. We all stumble in many ways. If any one is never at fault in what he says, he is a perfect man, able to keep his whole body in check.

The sermon was about the high calling of teaching (or preaching), the high accountability, responsibility and integrity involved. "If you can do anything else," Pastor Sam quoted from someone who was part of his rabbinical training, "then do it. If you CAN'T do anything else, by constraint or calling, then preach the Word of God." It's a big deal.

Further, "If your life doens't match what you're teaching, then forget about teaching," he said to murmurs of agreement from the congregation. It was that corporate, "Mmm," that you hear when someone has said something that's not necessarily profound but is a simple unavoidable truth that you needed to hear once again. It doesn't come around TOO often but it does warm the cockles of my heart to know I'm in a congregation that's (a) listening, (b) teachable and (c) honest/having open outflow of thoughts/reactions. (You're allowed to talk in church. Jesus said so.) Later, emphasizing the same sentiment, Pastor Sam said something to the effect of, If you can't live what you're teaching, "then keep your mouth shut." I remember the last part. It was good.
It's....... it's important, to say the least, to live what you say. Otherwise, your words are worthless, are they not? "Don't let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith and in purity." 1 Timothy 4:12 I mean, I guess that verse was written in a letter to one particular man which means we can't all claim to be "young" in the same way but the principle is a good one. I suppose the implication is that when you are "old", you will be setting an example in those five areas. No? I mean, I think the (optomistic) assumption by Paul is that setting the right example (i.e. having your faith match your deeds) comes naturally with spiritual maturity.

Saturday, 25 August 2007

down on the co'nah

Man, I thought I was already happy but meeting my downstairs neighbour just made my day. The fact that he came to the door in his boxers (only) kinda threw me off and I forgot the second part of my purpose for knocking on the door. I wanted the mail but I also wanted to introduce myself cuz it's awkward to live in the same house as someone but to not know them or know their name or recognize them on the street. I'll have to go back some time soon but hey, at least I'll remember his.... face now if I see him again out and about.
Haha... made my day.

things that piss me off (4)

#5 That parents or guardians who rape or sexually molest children under the age of 14 in Ontario get a maximum of five years in prison (the minimum, I think, is 6 months).

["Piss me off" doesn't seem to be an appropriate phrase here... I think it takes away from the weight of the concept. Whether or not I am pissed is completely irrelevant. The fact that adults are encouraged to violate children is not really about me at all. A more appropriate title might be, "things that are wrong."]

#6 When my mom's side of the family attacks my dad's side (or more often, my dad).

I don't understand why they think that low blows are acceptable... I don't understand how you can be so utterly mean (and think that I, or my siblings, would just let it slide).

Worst of all, I don't understand why we do let it slide.

The amount of pain and frustration I feel over this, the extent to which I feel utterly trapped & helpless is so overwhelming that I don't really know how to write or finish this post. I pray for change.

Friday, 24 August 2007

"Stephen Colbert was felled by a wall that was too lazy to stand up for itself: the floor."

"It's a show you should definitely miss -- unless you like the feeling of being alive."

Why I Wish I Could Be More Like...

...Jonathan Kent, as seen on Smallville (2002-2007).

His son Clark could run 10, 20, 50 farms on his own because of his super strength and speed. He does do a fair share of chores on the family farm and it wouldn't have been able to survive without 10 extra hands if it weren't for him. But Mr Kent, instead of getting greedy or lazy and forcing Clark to do ALL the work or to maximize the output of the land (producing more than a three-person piece of land should be able to), he still runs the farm. He still does his own chores, and works as hard as any other farmer, I'm sure. He has a jack (or whatever that dingle is called that goes under large vehicles and you crank it to lift them up to change a tire or do work underneath) that he uses whenever Clark's not around. I mean, the kid has held tractors and cars/trucks over his head.. in today's episode, he actually threw the tractor about 500 feet in the air and it landed a mile away (but that wasn't quite intentional). I admire that Mr Kent has not abused the amazing resource he has in his own back yard which, I suppose, is a long-winded way of saying he values hard work. It's almost like the equivalent of winning millions in the lottery but not hiring a housekeeper. Something like that.